Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Oz hasn't been too bad today - has had a few wobbles on the edge of tantrums but was distractable. I took him to my Mum's this afternoon so he was entertained beautifully - she has so much more patience and energy than me at the moment! He loves her so much and they have a grand time playing together.
I've just checked our online bank statement and am SO grateful it's payday on Friday. I have no idea why but this month we've totally overspent. I've borrowed a lot of money off my folks (they are my credit card) but we're still overdrawn....and I owe Kirsti a ton of money - I'm sorry sis.....
And the frustrating thing is, it's just gone on dribs and drabs - no big purchases, no huge extravagance that I can really put my finger on - the meal out last Friday night was £30....I've been spending a lot on petrol bombing down to Guildford and Southampton....actually that Southampton trip cost about £150....but it doesn't account for it all - and I've gone through the statement and I know it's all us - no one is using my account fraudently (I wish!).
We've just overspent. And I'm really angry and annoyed at myself.
I hate money worries....I'm so much luckier than a lot of people- I have a deal with my folks that I only go into debt with them - so no one is going to reposses my house or furniture (though they could have had Oscar for a fiver earlier in the week). I have a huge safety net with them there. But I wish sometimes I could be totally financially independent.
I suppose I could be back at work 5 days a week earning £28k in a secretarial job and not see my kid (hmmm...after this week that could be tempting...). I've earnt £450 doing Monkey Music this month which is something. But it's my choice to be with Oz, not work. And I love it even when he's horrible and I'm tired.
OOO - I want to win the lottery!
Ok I'll stop winging now. I must do a more cheerful post sometime this week or it will be a moan-fest on this blog. I apologise but thank you for letting me vent my worries...
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
We had to be out of the house all day as I'm having my dining room painted so the fumes were bad - we were relying on my various mommy friends to keep us out of the house all day.
This morning he kept hitting his little playmates. We'd been invited to a friend's for morning tea - she's dead posh and lovely, I don't know her that well, and she lives in a house that has stepped straight out of the pages of a magazine - pristine -she'd baked homemade chocolate cake, had decaf earl grey tea (you can see where I'm going here, can't you).
Oscar insisted on unpacking the hostess's bin, hitting her daughter over the head with a beaker then head-butting the floor and screaming that he'd banged his head. I don't think we'll get a repeat invitation.
He fell asleep in the car and I delivered him, sleeping, to the childminder while I taught Monkey Music to a group of people who, no matter how hard I try, don't interact with me...and all the kids are under one. So it's always a struggle to fill the time....
Picked Oz up - Louise told me what an angel he'd been. He promptly threw a tantrum, hit Elijah and grabbed a handful of my neck and scratched so hard I still have a mark. All because I tried to put his shoes on. We went to another friend's house, Andrea's, where Oscar proceeded to bash Frank on the head with a toy car, throw a tantrum because I wouldn't let him eat a balloon and when our Andrea made him dinner, threw it on the floor and screamed.
Screamed in the car all the way home (I'm on the verge of either bursting into tears or stopping the car and dumping him on the pavement and driving off). I put teletubbies on the video and shove a sausage roll in his hand. And shut the door on the living room and go into the kitchen (stopping to admire my beautifully painted dining room). I cooked dinner. Rob came home and took over.
I'm just about unwound now after some more wonderful Tylenol PM - I've got such a tension headache.
Remind me again why I thought it would be ok for Rob to go to Utah?
In fairness to the demented auburn midget, I think he may be teething. I'm very proud of the fact that I didn't hit him or shout at him at all. I told him sternly that I was very cross and that he was naughty to hit his friends. I made him say sorry each time and he did and I praised him for it. But by Christ. If this is the beginning of the terrible two's I think I want a refund.
I'd been getting really broody recently - lots of pregnant pals, and newborns knocking around....today has cured me somewhat....can't imagine dealing with this AND an ickle baby...
Kirsti - send me more Tylenol.....or valium......
Monday, March 27, 2006
His boss has had to pull out of the trip due to family illness - so Rob is probably taking her place. Of course his passport has expired....so he's got an appointment to get it done in a day on Thursday. And they have to confirm that they can either get a refund on his boss's ticket or exchange it for Rob's name....
But it looks like he's going. From Saturday - back on Wednesday. It's his birthday on Thursday so at least he'll be home for that....but I'll have a lonely few days. I hate being on my own...but I'm not on my own - I'll have a manic ginger grumpy dwarf attached to me at all times with no respite!
I swear Oscar is on a period. He's so bloody moody! Swings from giggling to throwing things and wailing in the blink of an eye....and I thought I was bad with PMT! Nothing compared to toddlerhood at the moment....
So I'm sure I'll cope but it will be knackering....Lesley - any tips?
Sunday, March 26, 2006
I'm having a really good weekend - even though Oz is sick - AGAIN - very high temp last night. He's not eating much but he seems happier today.
Our night off was lovely - great food - really good conversation for the first time in I don't know when. I feel really connected to Rob again which is important and wonderful. Lie in was fab - then left Rob with Oscar and Mum and I went to the NCT sale - my mother has that instrinsic talent of being able to ferret out the bargains. So I got some wonderful clothes, toys and books for Oz. And in the afternoon Mum went and collected a brilliant Bob The Builder Bike she'd won for him on Ebay - it's perfect - he's too tall for most of the ride ons you can get but this one fits him perfectly. I've lost the bloody camera - I'm looking for it - will try and post pics when I can.
Last night I babysat for my friend Liz which is always a treat - she lives round the corner from one of the best fish and chip shops I've ever found so I get a fish supper - and she runs me a deep hot bath (our bath is tiny - I can't do more than sit in it and it's really shallow so a hot bath is a treat). It's a bit wierd getting naked in your friend's house.....but soooo worth it. Her son Sam slept like an angel - didn't hear a peep from him. And I watched Wallace and Gromit Were Rabbit so that was fun.
This afternoon we'll probably go to the park on the way to Asda - simple day but I'm very happy and smiley!
Hope you're having a lovely weekend, whether you're a mother or not!
Friday, March 24, 2006
Oz is about to go to my Mum's overnight - hoorah! He woke up at 5.45 this morning....I'm shattered. He's been very moody all day - but then that's normal for him at the moment - his attention span seems shorter and he doesn't seem to know what he wants from one moment to the next.
Mum found 2 more teletubbies videos in a charity shop so that kept him quiet for a while yesterday afternoon....today he was with Louise while I taught MM and then we went to Greenwich park in the afternoon cos it was actually warm for a change. Warm and grey but warm....well warmer....We met Rob after work and went into his office and showed Oz off to the colleagues (until he threw a strop and we quickly left).
Tomorrow is an NCT sale in Beckenham which is cool - going to look for a ride on trike for the little monkey.
Tonight we are planning on going out for a cheap meal (we're so skint) and then an early night (nudge nudge) we'll see if I manage to stay concious long enough.......
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Right - today I was determined NOT to be boring (and I may have overdone it as I'm flipping knackered)
So - supermum day -
Got up at 7.15 with Oz - we both had breakfast then I started making spinach soup. Here's how I did it
1 large potato
3 sticks of celery
half a bag of spinach
about a pint of stock (I use the low salt organic veg cubes)
Chop all the vegetables roughly (except the spinach) Saute the leeks, onions, celery and potato gently in a large knob of butter for about 10 minutes. Add stock to cover the veg. Simmer for about 15 minutes. Add the spinach. Simmer for another couple of minutes - add a bit more liquid if necessary. Add pepper to taste - salt if you want (it's a bit tasteless without salt but I don't like to add salt to Oscar's food) Then whizz it all with one of those hand blender things or in a liquidiser to make it smooth. Presto! Soup!
Oz won't eat veg you see - but he loves his soup - so I make this every couple of days - varying the ingredients. As long as you have 5 veg it usually works whatever combo you do. So it's now about 9 am. I get dressed for the gym with my swimming cossie on under my tracksuit. Then I bomb downstairs and pack the swimming bag - making sure to pack my underwear since I'm wearing my cossie - been caught out with that one before....
(Oz is engrossed in CBeebies while I'm doing all this btw - thank god for a telly addict kid).
I then make him a quesadilla sandwich for his packed lunch -
Chopped green pepper - about a quarter of a pepper
1 chopped stick of celery
1 chopped spring onion
Some grated cheese
a couple of spoons of tinned refried beans.
Chuck tortilla in a warm dry frying pan. Spread refried beans on it. Sprinkle the pepper, celery and onion on. Top with grated cheese. Chuck other tortilla on top. Flip it over after a couple of minutes. Cut it up with a pizza cutter into little triangle. Presto! Sandwich! Can be eaten cold but is better fresh out of the pan
Pack a jar of soup plus the sandwich in Oscar's lunchbox with some raisins and an organix cereal bar. Get Oscar dressed. Take the Monkey Music instruments out of the car (I forgot to do it last night). It's now 9.45.
Get us both in the car with the swim bag and the nappy bag. Go to the gym leaving Oz in the creche. Work out for 45 minutes. Then pick Oz up from the creche (he didn't want to leave!) Take Oz for his swimming lesson (he was very lazy and didn't kick!). Mum meets me at the pool to help me get Oz dressed - or really to do it for me so I can have a shower. Mum realises I haven't any nappies in my nappy bag so rushes across the road to get some while I pray Oscar doesn't pee or poo on the towel!
We have lunch at the pool - Oz enjoys his soup and sarnie. Drive home - he falls asleep in the car (hoorah) so I decant him into his cot and I put my feet up for an hour.
Once Oz wakes up, we drive to Bromley to meet Mum. Take Oz shoe shopping - he's been pointing at his feet and saying toes, shoes off for a while so I thought he might need some more (he's only had his current pair for about 6 weeks!). Yup - true enough - he's now a size 6.5G. Aka bigfoot. As some of you know, Rob has size 16 feet. Mine are size 9 - and these are UK sizes so my American readers - add 2 sizes to those....genetics dictate my son will be a clownfoot....and he's starting early. We get him a pair of trainers whose heels light up when he walks - he's very happy. Wander round Bromley, go to Starbucks - lovely afternoon with Mum.
Get home around 4.45. Cook Oz fish fingers, noodles and peas in parsley sauce for his tea. Great success and he eats the lot. He settles down for the bedtime hour on CBeebies and I start to cook fish pie!
2 salmon fillets
2 white fish fillets (it was frozen white fish - don't know what kind)
1 pack of half price prawns.
1 head of broccoli
1 large tub low fat creme fraiche
about half a pint of fish stock
Large pinch dried dill
Large pinch dried herbs
About 6 large potatoes
Some grated cheese mixed with breadcrumbs
I cut the fish up and put it in an ovenproof dish. Put spuds on to boil for mash. Cooked the broccoli and added that to the fish. Cooked the eggs - hardboiled - chopped them up and added them to the dish. Mixed the fish stock and creme fraiche with dill and herbs and poured that over the fish. Then put a layer of spinach leaves on top of the fishy concoction. Mashed the potatoes and put them on top. Grated some cheese with a slice of soya and linseed bread and topped it off with that! I'm currently baking it in the oven at Gas Mark 4 for about 40 minutes.
So there! I'm knackered but strangely pleased with myself. I couldn't do it every day - but I'm glad I did it today - needed to kick myself up the arse a bit and being busy always makes me happy. I'll sleep well tonight (as will Oz I hope).
Wow. Long post. Long day!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
And I can't think of a blinking thing to write! And I haven't posted in a few days....but I haven't really done much. Well I have - as usual been out of the house every day....but it's kinda mundane......
Sunday I went to my friend Liz's house and met up with her and another NCT mum to let the boys (Sam, Frank and Oscar) play around together - great fun - it was actually sunny on Sunday for a change - got all excited about the possibility of spring....naaaaa it's been freezing ever since.
Liz's husband Craig made a yummy fish pie for the kid's dinner - I ate some of it and it was to die for - all salmon, cod and prawns in double cream with spinach and parmesan - far too good for kiddies! I have the recipe - I'm attempting it later in the week and I'll let you know.
Yesterday I went to the gym and am very sore today from it - had a big emotional "discussion" with Rob in the morning after a blazing row on Sunday night that wasn't resolved - so I had excess energy and rage to get rid of and caned it in the aerobic class. My inner thigh muscles are so tight I think I may snap them....
Today went to a nursery rhyme hour in the morning where I met up with some mum friends I haven't seen for a while - did Monkey M in the afternoon....
See? You're bored aren't you. I am and I'm typing it.....
Nothing exciting to look forward to for the rest of the week really...though Oz is having a sleepover on Friday night at Mum's so maybe I'll have a romantic beginning to the weekend.....or maybe not.....
And it's Mothers Day of course.....hope I'll get something sparkly from the wee one (via Daddy).
Ok I'm officially boring myself to death now. I'll stop and put me out of my misery. I'll look for a silly meme for next time!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Oscar and Lydia had such fun playing together as well as eating up a storm in Wagamama. It's the first time I've taken Oz there - first time I've been for ages - and they couldn't have treated us better - seriously baby friendly - I highly recommend it. Oz and Lydia between them polished off some chicken with noodles and some katsu chicken with curry sauce and rice. And we even let them share one of our grown up duck gyoza which shows how much we love them.
Hoorah for Wagamama.
Oz slept all the drive home and I zonked out when we got back - he woke up at 6am this morning - wide awake and desperate to play. He'd had quite an unsettled night. At 3am I was awoken to Oz shouting "MYA!" at the top of his voice - I looked after Mya for Julie yesterday afternoon and she also came round on Thursday so Oz has been spending a lot of time with her - and now he's even dreaming about her!
(I feel like i'm writing this entry all backwards but I've taken two Tylenol PM so I'm a bit dozy)
I watched Ella Enchanted on Sky this evening (well Oz was in the room so I kind of half watched it over the din). And I loved it! REALLY loved it - totally my kind of film (I told you I'm immature). That's the kind of film I want to be in really badly. A magical film that will stay with me, in fact I'm going to buy it on DVD I think. A real feel good fairy tale. And Anne Hathaway can sing! Very surprising. I have also found the book on Amazon for 61p!
Now my fingers are starting to feel numb. I LOVE tylenol pm - well it's acetomenaphine pm generic brand but it's bloody good - for you Brits reading, it's a pain killer with a "night time aid" to help you sleep and it's lovely - makes you all woozy.....I've a low tolerance to things like that I think - god help me if I tried valium!
Off to bed. Night night.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Squirting Giorgio perfume on people in Selfridges
2. PA to the Director of the Museum of the Moving Image
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Princess Bride
2. Dirty Dancing
3. What Dreams May Come (though I might cry too much)
4. Ferris Beuller's Day Off
Four places you have lived:
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Desperate Housewives (though I'm seriously behind this series)
2. Lost (Roll on Series 2)
3. America's Next Top Model (Addictive)
Four places you have been on vacation:
3. South Africa
Four websites I visit daily:
1. Stonecutter's home
2. Yahoo to get my mail
3. Blogs - see blogrolling list for all of them
4. BBC News (to keep up)
Four of my favourite foods:
3. Chicken Congo (roast chicken with roasted green peppers and peanuts - Mum's recipe - yum)
4. Apple crumble and custard
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed
2. Heron Island on the barrier reef
3. In a swanky hotel with Rob
4. In Detroit with my sis
Four people I am tagging
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I'm getting very excited about my trip to Detroit at the end of May. Planning what I'll do. Oz will be so excited to get on a real plane - he'll really get it this time - I think he was too little last time when we went. Poppy sent me her flight confirmation....can't wait to see her and Clara Jane. Maybe Beege too. And all my friends. And of course my sister!!!
Just got back from our swimming lesson - great fun. He's still teething though - was quite grumpy this morning. He ate a good lunch though and passed out cold in the car - hopefully he'll sleep for an hour so I can put my feet up (not....I've got to do a load of washing and tidy up)
He had great fun at Louise's house yesterday while I was teaching - he and Elijah decided to act out "Reservoir Dogs" in hommage to Tarantino. I'm going to get Rob to photoshop them onto the poster I think! Will post it if I do!
Oscar also ate with chopsticks for the first time yesterday - it was my idea to try and get him more interested in his dinner - he was fascinated by my ability to pick up macaroni cheese with chopsticks - he kept trying but didn't manage to get it....
Eventually he resorted to eating his yogurt with chopsticks. Much more effective.
Finally he used a fork.
Whatever gets it to your gob quickly - that's my boy!
Monday, March 13, 2006
Anyway - I told this to the researcher - told her a little of what I remembered and suggested she contact another cast member (actually the only other one whose name I remembered!). But she's keen to interview me for the show. She wants real memories from people who knew him back in the day...
But I don't really think I want to do it. It's not like I'm a famous actor or anything. I don't want it to look like I'm hanging on their coat-tails in an attempt to get on the telly. To my slight shame, before I got pregnant with Oscar, I actually wrote to the Little Britain casting director (I was desperate for TV work!) telling her I'd been in the NYT with David in a vain attempt at networking my way in to an audition. Needless to say, I didn't get any response at all - and I kind of wish I hadn't done it - like I said - we weren't friends or anything - I just happened to share a stage with him for 2 weeks in Edinburgh and the production bankrupted the NYT for the year - that's how good we were.....I sat in the pub in a gang watching him do the best Frankie Howerd impersonation I've ever seen - and that's about it.
If I was working or succesful as an actor in my own right I think I wouldn't mind talking about it. But I don't want to look like a saddo....Am I making sense?
The researcher is very pushy and is calling me back on Thursday - I already admitted my reticence but I think she must be very short on material and is trying to be persuasive.
This is an "unauthorised" show - Matt and David aren't taking part...
Actually by writing all this down like this, I think I may have already made my mind up - but do tell me what you think.....
Sunday, March 12, 2006
We didn't get down to Southampton until 11pm so not much of a romantic night in the hotel - passed out cold as soon as my head hit the pillow!
Oscar had a lovely time at my mum's - he's back to his ordinary self - he woke up on Friday smiling and smiled all day - I'd actually forgotten how lovely he can be after the week from hell.
Today I threw a baby shower for my friend Kelly who's due to pop in a few weeks. My amazing sister (as usual) came to my aid by sending me a ton of baby shower stuff - lots of banners, table decorations, party favours and stuff -thanks to you sis, the room looked amazing. We had great fun playing silly games like melted chocolate bars in nappies, - you had to guess which was which - guess the baby food, guess the baby animal, guess Kelly's circumference in toilet roll and pin the nappy on the baby. Kirsti had sent favours I could give out as prizes plus a lovely shower keepsake book and a camera that adds slogans to your pictures.
I have so much stuff I'm going to throw another one for 2 pregnant friends. We all brought food and there was a lovely spread - lots of leftovers for me - yum!
The house looks like a bomb site but it was worth it! I'm off to tidy up. Hope Oscar sleeps ok tonight - I think he's only eaten crisps and cake this afternoon washed down by rasperryade! I'm such a good mother...
Friday, March 10, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Yesterday though an internet chum and her daughter came to visit. She's totally amazing - she and I met when pregnant on a bulletin board and we bonded BIG time. We have so much in common it almost scares me - to the point that we both turned up yesterday with the same bag - a freebie from Red Magazine!!! I love her to pieces and want to see more of her - so if you're reading this babe (and I know you are) - see you next weekend I promise!
So it was a fun day - went to Gambado and met up with another friend, Louise (who is also my childminder and mum of Elijah) and it was fab -the kids played, we gossiped. Lovely.
Oz wasn't quite his usual boisterous self - and today when we were at Monkey Music (as punters) he was very clingy - still is very clingy actually all day.....
I've devised a solution next time I'm stressed to hell -just mixed myself a chill out CD which I will put on and sing along to, drowing out my child....here is my mix
Fields of Gold - Eva Cassidy
No Worries - Simon Webbe (LOVE this song at the moment - makes me smile)
Bridge Over Troubled Water - S&G
Vincent - Don McLean
Lullaby - Lemar
More Than Words - Xtreme
Put Your Records On - Corrinne Bailey Rae
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
Castles In The Air - Don McLean
Better Together - Jack Johnson
Gold - Stevie Wonder
Shape of My Heart - Sting
Ship of Fools - Erasure
stone in my Shoe - Alisha's Attic
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
Strange And Beautiful - Aqualung
Sister Fatima - Don McLean
Ok - a prevalence of Don McLean there but I love him - he chills me out every time -and it's an eclectic mix - I have wierd taste in music.....but it's a nice combo for me and I'm going to singalong to it now while Oz is still napping.
Glad to be back in the land of the blogs - feels like ages since I updated but then this week seems eternally long - time always drags when you're feeling poorly.
Oh - forgot to mention - bit excited - going down to Southampton tomorrow night (Oscar is sleeping over with Grandma) as The Witches Hammer is being screened on Saturday morning - Rob is coming too -a night in a hotel (woo hoo) and a chance to watch myself biting necks - very fun (though the screening is at 10.30am - not the best time for a horror film). I'll let you know how it went! And hopefully will have some idea of release dates etc....
Monday, March 06, 2006
ALL day Oscar has screamed and tantrummed. For the only reason that he is in pain. I know that's a good reason. I can't imagine how much it hurts. Possibly as much as my head?
I have NEVER wanted a cigarette more.
He's been truly horrible. A molar is poking through on one side - god knows how many more are coming.
Nothing is making him happy. I made 6 different breakfasts. Nope. I sang a whole Monkey Music medley. Nope. I pulled faces. Changed channels on the TV. Baby Einstein held him for 10 minutes. Teletubbies were not enough. QVC piqued his interest for a while.....I considered selling Oscar on QVC and was imagining patter....
In the end I put him in the car - turned the radio up so loud I could hardly hear him scream and dumped him at my mothers house.
I went to Costa Coffee seeking refuge.
It was full of screaming kids.
He was, of course, an angel for my mum. Ate for the first time in days. Slept for 2 hours. I picked him up, took him home and his other personality emerged....
Today - I really didn't want to be where I was or with him at all. I know I should be grateful and that my perspective is gone. I know it will pass. I know he can't help it. BUT....
I'm getting over the flu. I have the psycho baby from hell. I want a cigarette. I'm whiny. I don't give a shit.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
This morning it was very hard to get out of bed. I spent the morning lying on the sofa watching Oscar who was lying on the floor watching TV.Rob was in bed. I went back to bed once Rob got up - afer abour half an hour so did Oz. So did Rob! Luckily my mother came over and held the fort for the mid morning to afternoon period while Rob and I collapsed in bed. Oscar slept some more in the afternoon.
It's a horrible fluey cold thing - makes you feel wretched and tired and sore and miserable. I'm about to glug some night nurse and head back to bed - Oscar is coughing so much tonight - not sure how much sleep we'll get.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
He wasn't happy about being left at Louise's though quickly settled in. I had 4 busy classes- hard to fit in with what Kate's taught them - wasn't sure if they knew certain songs or not - and the older kids had all been told to bring in toy animals and I wasn't sure what to do with them! Sang Old Macdonald and winged it!
Picked Oz up - he slept at home for an hour and a half (while I did washing, bits and bobs etc.) and then dumped him straight back in the car and went to visit my friend Amy - she has a little boy, James, a year older than Oscar and a baby daughter Emily who is 3 months old. James and Oscar have a great time playing. James is the boss - telling Oscar what to do - they both seem to love it! Emily is an angel with the CHUBBIEST cheeks!
And then home in time for tea - tuna noodle casserole for Oz - good bathtime and cheerful bedtime. He's back to normal for now though still incredibly snotty and dribbly . I'll let you know if any teeth appear.
I made Chicken Parmesan for dinner - very American - and VERY yummy. I was quite proud of myself! Leftovers for Oz tomorrow plus a portion to freeze for another day. I'm off to listen to my Paul McKenna hypnosis cd and off to bed early.
I'm supposed to go to Monkey Music with Oz tomorrow- don't know if I can face it! Mum and Dad come back from the Maldives tomorrow too - I've really missed my mother even though she's only been away for a week - we usually talk every day and see eachother at least once a week....just shows you - there's nothing like a Mum!