Wednesday, November 25, 2009

My brain has dried up

It's been so long since I've posted...time seems to be on speed at the moment - I can't work out where November went......

I've stretched myself a bit thin this month - Governor and PTA school stuff has eaten my life! I've been doing training at weekends, meetings in evenings, meetings inbetween work and picking up boys......a bit TOO much in a way - I'm hoping it will die down....

Rob has had to work late most evenings in the past two weeks and the evenings he wasn't, I seemed to be out. I haven't even watched House this week!

We had some stuff to deal with too that I'm not quite ready to blog about but am processing - all fine but just a bit of a headfuck.

Toby was in A&E with croup - ambulance and everything - he really couldn't breathe and it was all a bit scary but he's fine now - just got a horrid cough....

Fine. It's a word I keep writing. A few weeks ago I remember thinking how content I was with my life - how things seemed to be settling down with the boys, how Rob and I were happy and reconnected.....and then look what happened - topsy turvy again. It's not bad at the moment - just chaotic.

I have a great analogy I have always used - rowboat moments. Most of the time I feel like the QE2 - blazing through the sea, twinkly lights, big bold ship - no idea where I'm going but forging on ahead....then suddenly I'll find myself in a leaky rowboat with one oar in the middle of the ocean with no idea what to do.....

It took me years to admit I had rowboat moments - I used to pretend everything was wonderful all the time and not allow myself to have weak spots. Now I freely admit it, even plaster it all over the worldwide web when I'm having a crap day.

This doesn't feel like a rowboat moment. I'm still a big ship, I've just lost my compass and there's stormy weather around. I'm sure I'll sail through it but it won't be easy.

Ok I'm analogising myself a little bit too much now. I'm just trying to explain whilst still keeping a bit of privacy.....(why am I writing a blog again?)

Enough. On the upside....I'm getting all Christmassy. I bloody love Christmas and I love that Toby will really get it this year. We're going to Selfridges to see Santa, going to pantomimes and I've been online shopping and have got some fab presents for the boys. My sister is coming over to England for February Half Term which will be fab. My lovely bestest mate Moxie is about to pop her third baby into the world - any day now - and I can't wait to meet him/her.....

Things could be a hell of a lot worse. Some things could be better. ...can't say it any better than this:

6 comments:

Tequilamonky said...

Huge hugs for the rowboat moment honey. I hope it soon passes and you're back on your QE2.

Enjoy the Christmassyness!

Kay Richardson said...

Yo! I live in London too. And I'm voluptuous. No. Not really. I am sexy, though.

Loving your words.

Anonymous said...

I loved this post and I love you being the QE2. We all have rowboat moments but you're right admitting to them can be quite hard. You'll sail through any choppy waters (ooh, I'm doing it now) hon. Hope things settle down for you babe and that you get some time to breathe and just be. bobbie xxxx

RoxieDot said...

Hugs hun. I've been thinking about your Rowboats a lot this week and sending love. You know where I am, even if I can't help I can listen and help pull the oars!

xxx

Sally said...

I'm ok honest - thank you so much for your lovely comments. I'm not quite in the rowboat just yet - just a bit off course! And possibly in some fog. I could stretch this on and on - such a good analogy innit!

Love to you all xxxx

zoe xx said...

I love love love your QE2 ananlogy - it's so you! And I love, love, love you too. You will be ok, we all will. I think it's great to analyse, it shows that you're self aware; the sort of radar on the QE2, not just rampaging through the waters without consideration for anyone or anything else.

Keep up the blogging - I've restarted too, and I've loved it today - Facebook is all very well, but your blog is a record of your whole life. xx