I'm going slightly mad

For the last three nights, Toby has been waking up almost hourly. And the first night Oscar was also up and banging on his bedroom door cos he'd had a nightmare....

NO idea what's up with the baby. I think he's often woken up with wind - he's such a farty thing - but won't go back to sleep unless he's cuddled or fed. Which I've been doing. STUPID!!!

Last night at 3am I woke Rob and asked him to try and settle Toby or I was going to lose the plot completely. Rob made me put earplugs in and left him to cry it out. I could still hear through the earplugs. But Toby went back to sleep and didn't wake up till 7.

So tonight, no matter what, I'll only feed him once and then will leave him to cry. I never wanted to do it - I'm not a fan of Gina Ford. But I think I've got to. 3 nights of no more than 50 minutes sleep at a time....I feel awful.

Thanks to my Mum I got a nap after the first night. Slept some yesterday morning. But today I have both boys all day so no chance to catch up on sleep. Toby's asleep now and Oz is whining.....

GIVE ME STRENGTH......

I started writing writing this at 9. Had a manic morning....but THANK GOD FOR MY MOTHER who once again took Toby while Oscar slept and gave me a chance to sleep on the best bed in the world (she's got a tempur mattress) - I LOVE MY MUM!

In which I am gainfully employed

I totally forgot to blog this....I got 2 job offers last week! Neither one from the auditions I had had unfortunately - but both a lot more secure and lucrative!

First - Tippee Toes - I've been to their classes - kind of like Monkey Music but more interactive. Set up by a mum of two who had been to lots of different classes but couldn't find one she liked - so she set up her own. My acting experience, plus Monkey Music teaching, means I can come on board as a teacher and best of all - take Toby with me. So he benefits, I don't have to earn a fortune to cover double childcare. Hoorah!

Second - South East Parenting Magazine - we used to advertise with them with the LAB - again, a business set up by a mum - Abigail a serious entrepreneur. She was looking for someone to do marketing and admin - since my other job when I wasn't acting was a full time temp - I've worked in many different areas including marketing before.

So two jobs! One which fulfills my creative urges - one which makes me use my brain for non-mummy things (though the magazine is about being a mummy).

And....this blog may get a mention in the magazine (gulp) so I might have to be a bit more interesting.....that's a challenge!

All is well today - Mondays are always exhausting. Went to a play place in the morning and the library in the afternoon - sorry to be predictable but this weather? Blimey....

Did a bit more blw with Toby - he had a biscuit - the Cow and Gate ones that are meant for older babies. He thoroughly enjoyed it. I really want to get some of those bikkipegs I think they're called - teething biscuits. He's really drooly - soaking through his tops - and desperate to chew anything. God help my nipples.......

Another little movie

It's not as fancy as the others - I'm too tired...and hayfeverish -sneezing my arse off and it makes Toby jump when I'm feeding him....which is kind of funny in a sick mummy way.

I've been supermum today. Did the shopping at lunchtime without kids. Came home, unpacked, breastfed, made barbeque roast chicken with orzo and corn on the cob so we could all eat together, baked banana bread...cleaned the kitchen. I'm insane. We're trying a bit of baby led weaning with Toby - giving him proper food for him to gum and chew on - he had a bit of toast this morning, gummed some chicken tonight and also sucked on a bit of apple. Breastfed babies are supposed to be good at it as their jaws are so strong. And he's teething and desperate to chomp on things. And when I was eating toast this morning with him on my lap he was snatching it out of my hand and desperate to try it. They gag a bit. But that doesn't bother me. More info here. I'm not going to do it the whole hog - I'll still give him mush as I haven't got the patience - but like the idea of putting lots of bits and bobs in front of him and letting him help himself and feed himself....

I uploaded this little gem - mainly for my speech therapist sis to see Toby practising mouth movements. But also cos it's funny.

Oscar's first visit...

to the barber today...he didn't like it much - but the results were worth it. My little boy looks so grown up! He's learnt how to wink. He finds it hysterical.

He also keeps telling Knock knock jokes but not quite understanding the joke bit - so we get Oz: knock knock.... Me: who's there.... O:Annie ..... M: annie who....O: annie rocket. Hmmm. He finds it funny!

A movie....

Enjoy!

I am still alive....honest

Just totally empty of inspiration, energy and time to blog! I've been reading my email and that's about it at the moment with my online time....

All is ok chez Edwards - Oz's behaviour has good some days....appalling some days....but better than a few weeks ago when I was about to run away to Vegas and forget I had kids. Toby's sleep is good some nights (one wake up) and bad some nights (three - as it was last night).

Potty training - also good and bad. Two days ago we started bribing Oz to go on the potty as he wasn't interested at ALL. Bad mother that I am - it started with mini jelly sweets - three for a big wee, two for a small one. But now, being advised by my good mother, we're using cherries. Oz LOVES cherries. Yesterday he was dry all day and only pooed in his pullup which was cool.

I've been going to the gym a lot. Eating a lot. So no real effect there but I enjoy swimming. I've had 2 auditions - didn't get either of them - the second one I'm a bit gutted about as it was a fantastic script...ah well....

Been offered 2 non-acting jobs - one doing some admin for someone we used to advertise LAB with - and even better, one doing music - like Monkey Music - but where I can take Oscar or Toby with me to class. The latter is the one I'm really excited about. I've got meetings with both potential employers tomorrow so will let you know. Both jobs will work around the kids so I'm not really going back to work as such but it will be nice to earn a little pocket money and feel I have a purpose again.

It's Fathers Day so happy day to all your daddies out there. Rob is still in bed. I'm going to make him a bacon sandwich in a bit. Then I want to crawl back in cos I'm so tired but I think we're going swimming en famille.....at least I get a trip to Costa Coffee out of it!

Oscar the Klingon

We were back in Casualty last night. After bathtime...again. Oz was balancing on his little stepping stool before getting in the bath. And somehow keeled over sideways and headbutted the toilet.

Don't know if you can see from the pictures - he's got an enormous blue lump in between his eyebrows. It was MASSIVE last night -came up straight away. Rob was scared he'd broken his nose. He cried for about a minute then said he was ok. But was quite excited about going to Casualty as he remembered they had a toy kitchen in there and he wanted to cook us dinner.

Funnily enough we met some friends there - their little boy Sam, one of Oz's NCT best mates, had hurt his wrist. Obviously Casualty is the place to be on a Saturday night....we were in and out in about 40 minutes though - no breaks - just a nasty bruise.

Rob is trying to teach Oz to say "Kreplach" which is hello in Klingon because from the side, it really does look like one of their nose bumps.....

In other news...Toby's sleep has improved (thank god). He now only wakes once a night - sometimes at 3, sometimes as late as 5, last night at 12.30 but he still then sleeps on till about 6. Which is manageable. And I feel much better.

Monday last week was dreadful - had a really really bad day with Oscar and then Toby screamed until 9.30. I really wanted to run out of the house and never come back. A total low.

Each day has got progressively better. Thanks to Mum mainly - she took Toby out on Wednesday afternoon so Oz and I could have an afternoon to ourselves. Then she took Oz all afternoon on Thursday so I could have a rest-ish afternoon. I had an audition on Thursday morning too so she had Toby all morning.

I've got another audition tomorrow - there seems to be a sudden call for fat birds - but Rob has the day off so that's cool. I'm going to go up to town a bit earlier and have lunch. In peace.

I feel the need at the moment to have some child-free time. I'm never without one of them....and it's starting to do my head in. At this point most people go back to work......however (auditions pending) I have no work! But I need some ME time.....watch this space