Butlins!!

I've decided to blog our holiday in detail so I don't forget it! We went to Butlins, Bognor Regis. I've always wanted to go to Butlins. As a child I winged about the fact that my parents took us to France camping, when all my mates went to Butlins.

So on Monday we left at 10 and arrived at Butlins at around 12. Greeted at the gate by very friendly redcoats - we parked and left our stuff in the car as we couldn't get into our flat until 4. Went into the Skyline Pavilion - the hub of the park really - checked in and had fish and chips. Discovered the free fairground rides for the boys which were fab, and the soft play centre nicely opposite the Costa Coffee! Had great fun exploring and got into our flat which was so much better than I'd imagined. A little kitchen and table, 2 little sofas (more like large armchairs), a small bathroom with shower and 2 bedrooms. All clean and nice. The oven door was broken and hanging off so I used the text service they have to send an sms with the details. In about 3 minutes there was a man at the door to fix it - excellent service.

We saw from our in"fun"mation guide that the show Oz really wanted to see - the Cartoon Network one - was on that night at 7pm in the main Centre Stage entertainment arena. We headed off there and Oz was in raptures watching 4 arms and a load of other characters he'd never seen up on stage. He refused to join in when asked by redcoats so when all the other kids stood up he stayed sitting down etc...but he loved it. Toby sat with us and insisted on a double parent headlock - as seen below - an arm around each neck and our faces squished together...We didn't realise how long the show would go on for. Both boys wanted drinks but the only non-fizzy ones I could find at the bar (aside from exorbitant J20 drinks) was a slush puppy. I stupidly bought them both one - pure sugar.

By the time we got back to our apartment at 9.30 they were over-tired, over-excited and hopped up on bright blue slush.....I thought they'd go to bed.....oh no......

We had a 2 bedroom apartment - I thought it would be nice for them to share for the first time. I also didn't think about the fact that Toby was going to be in a bed for the first time too. What the hell was I thinking? A night from hell ensued. We tried to get Toby down first. He was too giggly. Oscar joined him, we tucked them in, turned off the lights.....2 seconds later Oscar is urging Toby to get out of bed and open the door. Which he then happily did about 20 times. Threats, shouting, cajoling...begging.....nothing worked. Eventually we put Oscar in our bed. It's now 11.30pm.

I had to wait for Oz to drop off, then Rob put him back in the twin bedroom and we went to bed. Rob snored. So loudly it woke me up. I couldn't get back to sleep no matter which way I poked him to turn over. I even made him put a nose strip on and it didn't make a jot of difference. I ended up on the 2ft baby leather sofa with a cricked neck and legs hanging off from the knees over the edge. The seagulls then started up. So I got about 4 hours sleep in total that night.

Rob, bless him, took the kids straight out in the morning to the beach so I could have a couple of hours sleep but I was still a zombie all day. Both boys were tired and whiny....we stayed on the park playing on the fair rides and the climbing frames and then they were in the creche for 2 hours which they seemed to like.

When we got them we hit the pool. We had to queue for 20 minutes to get in and then wait for a changing room. It was insanely busy - I stayed with Toby who was obsessed with a baby waterslide and was going up and down it constantly. There were rapids, multiple slides, a whole construction of slides and sprays in the middle. It was noisy pandemonium. Then Rob shouted me and I turned to see him on the side with a bleeding Oscar.


Oz had run away from him, through the floor level rapids and fallen and gashed his head on the water pipe. The lifeguard took us into a faintly grubby first aid room and dabbed at it with a tissue while asking me to fill in a complicated form. I told her I wanted a butterfly stitch or bandage on it as it was a rip in his skin and wouldn't stop bleeding. She offered me a plaster and assured me she was first aid trained. Well so am I babe and I know that he needed a butterfly to hold it closed. All through this conversation, Toby was sat on Rob's lap shouting "bugger it" - words he's never said before.....strange.....

We had to get dressed - Oscar was in floods of tears because he didn't want to get out of the pool - Toby still screaming "bugger" at the top of his voice - walk over to Guest Services while they found someone who was a "a bit more first aid trained than our life guards"....the security girl they found was brilliant - taped shut the cut but then I had to fill out another A4 form. I was furious.

We went back to the flat where Toby started playing with his dinosaurs screaming "fuck you" as he bashed them into the sofa.

Now I'm quite proud of the fact that I control my potty mouth in front of my kids. I've NEVER said the f word in their earshot which is a fucking acheivement in 5 years. And after 2 hours in a Butlin's nursery, my son is fing and buggering all over the place.

I wasn't amused. We decided to skip any evening entertainment and chuck the kids in bed normal time (7pm).

Luckily they both slept through till 7am. Rob and I were in bed by 9 and did the same so Wednesday was a much better day!

We realised there was an under-6 only session every morning in the pool between 8 and 9. They didn't turn on any slides or jets so it was much nicer. No queuing, no waiting for a changing room - just swimming with the boys.

As we were walking back through the skyline we found the "opening ceremony" happening which is redcoats and some characters doing a sing session and then meeting and greeting the kids. Toby fell in love with Dino (of course) who was wonderful with him afterwards, bending down to cuddle him and patting him on the head, giving him high 5's and lots of attention. It made Toby's day!


So this became our routine from then on. Do LOADS in the day - swim first thing, meet the characters, do the shows, but forget the evening entertainment - be back at the flat by 7 for bed.

And it worked perfectly. We explored the seafront of Bognor to get away from the resort for a while.




We went to a local park and Oz had a go on a pedalo (he sat....Rob pedalled!)


We spent time in the excellent funfair - all rides free! I loved the carousel best but Oz convinced me to get on a tugboat ride....it was scarier than I imagined! He loved it though.Happy Mummy!Happy Oz and slightly queasy Mummy....
On the last day Oz worked out that there were people inside the character suits as he spotted a zip on Daisy Cow! Innocence lost!

Toby was still enchanted....
The boys and Bob!

Oscar's choice of going home present....

All in all a fun holiday - more for the kids than the adults. At Center Parcs there's more for the adults I think - and not as much stuff, certainly not FREE stuff for the children.

Next time I'd either like to go just for the weekend, or go with another family so the grown ups have eachother for entertainment and company. (I'm not being pervy with that statement - I meant conversationally).

It was brilliant. The Redcoats are amazing - they never stop smiling. Incredibly helpful staff (apart from the thick lifeguard) and fantastic facilities.

We nearly left on Thursday night - I had ideas that we'd stay as late as possible on our last day, meet up with some friends who were arriving for the weekend for lunch perhaps....said friend had warned me we'd be scarpering as early as possible and she was right! We were on the road by 9.30. In fact, Rob said, just as we were putting the boys to bed on Thursday night, that we should have left that evening and I almost wish we had.

I loved the holiday but it was bloody bliss to be back home - especially a spotlessly clean home since Milla had been after we'd left on Monday. Can't wait to have a bath and sleep in my own lovely bed with lovely clean sheets and my cuddly duvet. And my earplugs.

Wise words to live by

I just love these. My friend Tracy sent them to me and I'm very grateful. I've already put them on Facebook so apologies for the repetition if you've read them. They just resonate with me (as Mr English would say).

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

The most important sex organ is the brain.

No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

Forgive everyone everything.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

Your children get only one childhood.

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.

Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

Every time I re-read them another one jumps out at me. Love it. Thanks Tracy B....

Summer hols are here

Whoop de do. Can you tell I'm not that excited? Well it's the first week of the holidays and it's pissing it down with rain. Boo. So I've cheated a bit - put the boys in the creche at Downham (thank God Oz doesn't turn 5 till the end of the summer) and come into the library to surf the net, drink coffee and read Nora Roberts (my latest discovery - excellent easy reading books!)

Up until today we've been having a blast. School broke up on Wednesday, on Thursday we went to Worthing. Well Oz and I did! With Claire and her two girls - Toby was in the nursery all day. I didn't feel like driving so by only having 1 kid we could all go in the one car and it was a lot less hassle than having Toby along too. Oscar is much easier on his own! And it was lovely - we had some time just the two of us when Claire and family went to visit her grandma. So Oz and I played on the beach - flew a kite, threw stones, balanced on the wooden thingies that run up the beach (what are they called?), had cuddles as we were very windblown. All lovely. I can't show you the pics as I'm in the library but will upload them soon (though most, if not all the people who read this are on FBook so you can see them there).

Friday we hung out with Claire again and the lovely Tracy and her two girls. Went to Gambado which was quite insane but with good company and cappuccino we coped! I love going there now as both boys just disappear for most of it. Toby did throw a mother of a tantrum and got tutted by another woman (I don't believe she was a mother, think she was an auntie who hadn't got a clue what 2 year olds are like). It was fun. We had Claire's girls round on Saturday too which meant Oz was amused and ecstatic all day.

Sunday we went down to Whitstable which was excellent. My friend Julie lives near in Canterbury and I hadn't seen her for ages. Her daughter Georgia came too and as she's a couple of years older than Oz, he fell in love instantly. He spent most of the day following her around and talking talking talking like a madchild. We arrived at Tankerton and got out of the car though and Toby threw up. Bless him for waiting till we got OUT of the car....he was very pale (though it's hard to tell with my kids) and not himself. He perked up a bit, had some apple juice and we met up with Julie and Georgie. We went to Tesco to get picnic food and Toby was in the buggy - he pulled the hood down over his face which he often does and then when we got to the beach and I pulled it up, he'd puked again and was just sat listlessly in it. He hadn't cried or anything.

We got him cleaned up, sat on the pebbles and he started to eat Doritos with a passion. He perked up again.....he seemed fine after that - went paddling happily, ate an ice cream and jelly snakes. Oscar swam on his own in the sea (following Georgie's example) which was a huge achievement - he usually wears a swim flotation jacket but I hadn't brought it with us. He was so proud of himself!

We had to leave a bit early to get home for a shopping delivery but we'll definitely do it again. Absolutely fab day. (Apart from the puking).

Toby has been fine since though. And slept fine. So now it's today and we woke up to stormy weather. Nearly all my friends are gone for the week- Claire went to France, my school mum gang are all visiting relatives, Clare and James are in Oslo......so the creche is a godsend. And it's given me time to update this blog!

Our summer holiday plans begin on Saturday - my birthday! I'm escaping and having afternoon tea at the posh hotel in Marylebone we went to for Lee's hen do. Then on the Monday we're off to Butlins for a week - the boys will be in heaven - I might need valium! Then on the Sunday after we get back we're off to see (courtesy of Mum and Dad) Walking With Dinosaurs at the O2.

I can't imagine how excited (and scared) the boys will be! It looks amazing from what I've seen on Youtube and the website. The dinos are life size. They will both believe they're real. How cool is that? To come face to face with your favourite extinct thing? It would be like me having tea with the fairies.....I will take pics and share I promise.

Talking of pics - anyone know anything about digital cameras? The camera on my phone is taking washed out pictures - almost sepia - and I've reset all the settings. It's like something is burned out or something....anyone got any ideas? I'll have to phone 3 and see if they'll replace it.

Ok - off for coffee and guilty pleasure of Nora Roberts.....

Oscar's first school report....

Wow. Oscar is coming to the end of his first "year" at school (since he only started in January it's two terms instead of three but still...). I got his report in the bookbag today and I'm quite pleased with it. Bear in mind he is the YOUNGEST kid in the whole school. He turns five the week before he starts Year One.

Here are some extracts

"Oscar is sometimes involved in small disputes and now needs to develop his skills of cooperation and negotiation to overcome these difficulties appropriately. He will need to consider the consequences of his words and actions for others much more and I feel sure, as he matures, he can achieve this".

"Oscar has the potential to do very well in school"

"Oscar's communication skills are very good....he is very good at reciting stories and experiences brought from outside the setting. "

"Oscar shows a keen interest in mathematical activities"

"He takes part in whole class singing and music sessions with enthusiasm. Oscar has enjoyed using musical instruments and moves expressively and rhythmically and enjoys movement lessons"

"Oscar is always enthusiastic to partipate in physical activity and eagerly awaits our weekly PE sessions."

Oscar also contributed to his report. When asked what he liked at school he says
"I like playing Hide and Seek. I like to write and I like to build with lego blocks. That's all I can think of. I can't think of anything else."

When asked what he was good at he said "Running. Hiding. Counting up to ten. That's all I can think of".

Supposedly when he leaves school he wants to be a builder. Which was news to me. But better than an alien which is what he usually says he wants to be when he grows up.

There are areas to work on, but he's done well this year. The most important one for me is the first line "Oscar separates from his parents in the mornings with confidence and is keen to enter the class". Can't ask for more than that! He's also got 100% attendance with no lateness.

Kicking my own arse....

cos I haven't blogged for ever! Facebook microblogging is partly to blame but also a resurrection of Sims 2 - I dug it out of the back of the cupboard to see if it was worth buying Sims 3 - I know - that doesn't really make sense - but I figured I should see if I was going to have any time to play it. So I've been playing 2 like a demon. I made a "Simwards" family (I'm so egotistical) and did replica me and Rob - we bred and now have 2 daughters called Abigail and Tabitha. In the marvellous world of Sims I control EVERYTHING and I quite like it. Therefore I have 2 perfect A+ students and unlimited money and live in a mansion.

I wish it was real!

Well I don't really. But anyway. Today I got my usual nudge from the NCT Broodsheet editor asking me for another column. Always nice! It made me write and it made me realise how long it was since I wrote anything apart from a status update.

So here I am!

News....I got a job. Well a temporary that might become permanent job. The local community centre runs singing classes but their main teacher is ill - long term - so they need cover. And I'm it! I get to plan my own lessons - 45 minutes twice a week - and it's great. I love the centre - Oscar went to preschool there and Toby has been to playgroups and things so I know the staff really well. I had 22 kids in my class today so it's popular too. They're getting used to me- I teach a very different class to the previous teacher - she was sitting the whole time and sang along to CDs whereas I'm either acapella or use an instrumental track and do a movement section and an instrument section.

I was seriously over-heated today though. After doing Mulberry bush and Hokey Cokey I looked like I'd been in a shower - totally soaked in sweat! The kids liked it though and I'm getting great feedback. I should be there all summer and then they'll re-evaluate the position after that. Toby should be starting at the preschool there in September so it would be perfect.

I'm hoping to start doing some admin for my friend's company too soon so that will be two little part time jobs. I'm very happy about that.

What else...Rob's back is a lot better - he started cycling again this week which is a relief as I was chief Chauffeur which was a pain.

Had my first Governors meeting just after I got back from the States. One thing made me chuckle inwardly - for some reason I imagined they'd all be older than me - really old and grey and wearing dark suits and sat round a table. And that I'd be the young one/ Of course they're all the same or similar ages to me - the Chair is probably younger than me. Rob reminded me that I AM actually a grown up...I do forget sometimes....

Mum is in South Africa - Cape Town - to get her toes operated on. I've joked that she'll come back looking like Jordan with fake tits and a facelift....I do miss her already though and she's only been gone since Saturday.

I'm still feeling the benefits of my week off. Though I have been longing to go back! It was such a great week - so many wonderful friends, food, experiences and cocktails! Toby's behaviour is getting a lot better - he's very clingy since I got back and his speech is coming along in leaps and bounds. He's sitting next to me here demanding Kerwhizz on the computer and then saying his favourite phrase "I don' like it " but shouting NO! if I try and put something else on! Crazy over-heated child. Oh now it's changed to Poetry Pie (again). No...Kerwhizz....ah how fickle can a 2 year old be.

Michael Jackson - suppose I'd better mention him since there is apparently no other news of note this week - I had bought tickets if you remember, then sold them for double the price on Ebay. I've since spent the double bit in America. So I have the dilemma of the refund for my buyer. I want to refund him but I can only refund him the price I paid for the tickets - the price I'll (hopefully) get back from Ticketmaster. Legally I don't have to give him anything since he isn't really protected but I want to do the right thing....karma and all.....supposedly there's an option to not get the refund and get the tickets as a souvenir/memorabilia - hopefully he'll take that option and then maybe he can sell THEM on Ebay himself and make all his money back! That's what I'm hoping for anyway.

What else....can't think. It's a heatwave here in London - 30 today (don't ask me what that is in American, I can't work it out). I'm quite proud of the fact that despite having glow in the dark pale skin, neither of my boys has got sunburn yet. Yay me and sunblock.

Right I'm off to babysit now for my friend Liz who is going to see Kings of Leon - she's so hip. Glad I got a post in...will try and post again before August!