Since starting PADing again this year, and talking about blogs with some friends the other day, I've started re-reading old posts.
Hindsight is so damn interesting.....reading about how I was struggling before the 4 letters that have come to define my daily existence reared their ugly head. (ADHD in case you're new here)....reading how I struggled with the diagnosis...reading how amazing my friends have been throughout the years, supporting me, listening to me, understanding me.
It's made me sad that Facebook has killed off my blog to all intents and purposes. I used to WRITE. Really write here. And I don't. So I'm going to try and occasionally do one of these non-photo a day posts and get my fingers to record where my brain is so in a few years time I can read it and go - wow - or - glad I'm not there any more - or - wish it was that simple now....who knows.
Life goes so fricking fast. I can't believe Toby is 7. I can't believe I'm Chair of Governors at our school. I can't believe I'm going to be 43 or that Oz will be in double digits this summer.
I'm quite blessed in many ways. I have an incredibly supportive family. I have friends who love me. I'm not working at the moment which is kind of weird. Well, I work one day a week every other week....but that hardly counts!
I'm always wishing for an acting job. Fuck, even an audition at the moment would be nice - but I'm always hopeful without spending hours waiting for the phone to ring. Maybe this year will be my year...maybe I should try the cosmic ordering that I've re-read in previous years, worked quite well....
So let's try that - Cosmic Ordering - universe please bring me an opportunity, an audition, a meeting. Then I can do the work to get the job....
Ok...enough of that. (though it worked the last two times!)
What else can I splarge out of my brain....
Is anyone else missing Google Reader? I used to read so many blogs and now I can't remember where they all are - even though I exported my Reader list I can't find a replacement (I tried Feedly and I hate it). I feel out of touch a bit....but then again I haven't been blogging as much - maybe everyone has slacked off (damn Fbook).
Changing the subject totally. This year will be my 23rd year with my other half. I've been with him over half my life. We have been working at our relationship recently and I'm so happy about it. A few of my friends are divorcing/divorced and it freaks me out. And makes me sad. Even when he's been doing my head in, that hasn't crossed my mind at all. Another way in which I'm blessed.
The boys are growing up. They're easier and harder in many ways. I read back all the posts about nappies, breastfeeding, preschool stuff - it's like a lifetime ago. And a heartbeat ago. Time is funny. To quote The Doctor People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but
actually, from a non-linear non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a
big bowl of wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff.
See I told you this would be navel gazing... My inspiration brain has dried up. I'm almost loath to press the publish button....but then again, I always assume no one is reading this but my future self....so I'll press it.....