Our phone and internet has been off for 36 hours or so - really made me aware how much TIME I spend online or on the phone....and even so, how little I've updated this blog this year! I've been composing this in my head for a day or so and am now trying desperately to remember what I wanted to say as we move into 2010....
Two television programmes have made a big impact on my brain this week - first one was lighthearted - Electric Dreams on BBC4 - a family was taken back to the 70's, 80's and 90's - they decorated their house, moved them forward a year every day and gave them the technology of the year -from a teasmade to a sinclair C5 to the first mobile phone.....it made me SO nostalgic and so bloody aware of how far, in my lifetime, we've come. I'm sitting in a house with a flatscreen tv, 2 game consoles, 2 PCs and a laptop, wireless internet, mobile phones and an ipod and I take it all totally for granted. At Oscar's age I had playschool on once a day and that was about it. I can remember our Betamax video system. I can remember getting a computer game - Toshiba I think - and playing pong. I remember my ZX81......
It was fab - great programme- it's on iplayer so watch it if you have time.....And suddenly being without my online access made me appreciate it so much - couldn't do what that family did!
It's made me wonder how much will change in this decade. At the end of 2019 I will be 48... the boys will be 15 and 13....teenagers....this last decade seems to have flown - I wonder if the next one will be even faster. And what will have changed....
And so on to the next programme - Channel 4 showed a documentary last night - Tsunami, caught on camera....following holiday makers who had filmed their experiences - footage not seen before. And personal stories which you became so involved in, and it was heartbreaking. I remember the Tsunami - had some friends who were caught in it in the Maldives and who had a horrific time. But I hadn't really grasped the whole picture. And that documentary made me weep for the families who were literally ripped apart from eachother. To see how initially it was eerie and fascinating to see a tide disappear...only for the realisation to hit and the devastation to unfold. Children dying. Parents having to save a child, only to lose the others as they couldn't hold on to three of them.....the huge force of such a natural disaster - how powerful and deadly nature can be.
Heartbreaking. I immediately went upstairs to be with my boys. I even woke Oscar up stroking his head.....sometimes, especially the last few days, I get so exasperated with them - they've been behaving really badly over the Christmas period - a combination of being indoors a lot, being over excited and just generally boisterous. It's made me lose my temper a lot. And Rob has too. They haven't been exactly much fun to be with...there have been moments of loveliness but that's all it's been - momentary.
Then you start to imagine yourself losing them.....and you feel so bloody guilty for not counting your blessings. Your perspective pulls back and you suddenly think of people who have lost children, people who can't have children, people with children who are sick or poor or....you could keep going for ages and I know it's unrealistic to imagine you can live your life constantly unselfishly......
A young couple who were on their honeymoon were talking about how they now try to live better lives, more worthwhile lives, on behalf of the nearly quarter of a million people whose lives were taken....and I admire them for it.
Maybe my resolution this New Year is to try and concentrate on the good - try and be more patient. Try and understand that despite the frustrations, headaches, broken nights and bodily fluids, I am so blessed to have my boys, my husband, my home, my family, my (erratic) health, food to eat, technology to be amazed by, friends, a job.....all of it.
Saying that of course, I have no plans for tonight! Without a babysitter we're kind of stuck at home. We could go to a friends house but I'd have to drive and the boys would be a pain....so I'll gratefully put them to bed early and then stay at home with hubby.
However you celebrate your New Year I hope you have a blast. I look forward to next year...first milestone is Toby's third birthday on the 8th.....
1 comment:
Happy New Year Sal!!
You know, reading blogs this last week or so, and looking at what people are saying about resolutions, so many are mentioning being more grateful for what we have, for the simple things and what we take for granted. I think if we all did this and took 5mins to think about this every day, it would make for a happy 2010 and a great start to the new decade.
xx
Post a Comment