I think I've probably mentioned this before but Oz is seriously slap happy at the moment. Usually in the evenings when he's tired. He hits me round the head and Rob too - we've tried everything. Stern voices - getting down on his level - naughty step. Now I'm thinking he likes the attention he gets when he hits.
We just got back from the library - they do a nursery rhyme thing on a tuesday morning which is always packed with other kids. Oscar hit three of them. It's embarrasing in public because when I tell him off, he just laughs. He made one little girl cry. He said sorry but I don't think he understood. It seems to be a game to him.
At home I can put him on the naughty step or ignore him. In public it's harder. I held him on my lap and ignored him but there was so much going on that it didn't impact at all.
Any ideas?
9 comments:
Oh dear. I really dont know what to suggest. Sylvie alternates between 'loving' me which is patting and stroking my face and then I'll get a big wallop across the head or she pulls my hair. Its def a game to her and if I say no or tap her hand she just laughs. Infact if I tap her hand she copies me and starts hitting her own hand and cackling! I've taken to ignoring her at the moment and moving away from her. (sometimes, depending on my mood I may slip her an evil look too, ssssh)
So far she doesnt do it outside of the house but I feel for you. Its embarassing I know. So Ive got no useful advise but just wanted to respond to your post.
Why not try the painted boobies in this situation too??? Just a thought?
(((Sal))) it must be so frustrating to deal with in public, luckily I've only had it happen at home once or twice but I'm dreading the day it happens outside. So the only solution I'd have would be a Supernanny type piece of advice, where you get down to eyelevel, say 'no' in stern voice and if it happens again you'll take him home, then make good on your threats if it happens. Hope he's over it soon though Sal xxx
When Clara Jane does something horrible in public - especially if we're somewhere that's fun for her - we leave. Hit another kid during storytime at the library or while playing at the park, well, that means the fun's over, Toots. Do it once or twice, and kids are pretty quick to realize that, if they do action A, their world will come to a grinding halt, therefore they stop doing action A.
I was going to suggest the same thing Robin did Sal. If he does it during an activity of any sorts, that's it, the fun stops (either coming home from wherever or TV off, toys away, sit quietly etc if at home).
Either that or get him boxing gloves with heavy weights inside, that way he won't be able to lift his hands off the floor.
I figured out another technique today that worked like a charm.
We were at Wal-Mart, and she was being a beast. Kept kicking me and laughing. After failing miserably with everything to get her to stop, I finally just stopped the cart everytime she kicked. I told her, "We're going to stand here until you stop kicking." Of course, while we were stopped, I moved out of the reach of her feet. After two stops, she realized that kicking = sitting and being bored, so she cut it out. I guess it's a variation of what I talked about before, but damn if it didn't work wonders!
I'm a great believer in the "If...then..." strategy - as in "If you do xxxx again, then xxxx will happen/I will do xxxx". And then you HAVE to do the thing, so even if it's a pain in the ass to leave the nursery rhyme/soft play/friends house, you have to do it. Last summer I got A out of bed at 5am at my mother's and put him in the car and took him home because he was pissing about getting up and going to the toilet 150 times because he thought it was fun - he was exerting his power. His face! I don't think he thought I would do it - but because I did, he remembers that and refers to it. Putting something favourite on a top shelf is a good one.
HTH
Sal,
being consistant as well really helps. J and L have never hit other kids but they do brawl sometimes and hit me. They have been hit at playgroup though and i think the best stratagy I have seen is telling the child they have done a naughty thing, say sorry then sit out of the way for a few minutes.
I hope he calms down with his hitting soon.
Nic
xx
Hey Sal, puting my teacher hat on, the best thing I think is the consequence rule. If you do that again (always give a warning first) we will go home etc etc. Then remove Oz from where ever you are. Pain in the ass for you, especially if you've paid for it etc, but it'll be better in the long run! I did read somewhere that kiddies aren't knowingly naughty until they are at least two, until then they are just exploring, so Oz will soon learn that by exploring other kids faces (!) means he goes home. Does any of that make sense??!!!
Of course it is so easy to sit and give advice when it isn't your child, so good luck honey. Now any advice on what to do with a child who throws himself off things would be good please??!
Love Sx
http://www.supernanny.net/
Visit the cafe - this is the second time this week I;ve sent this link to a mum - so you are in good company. I;ve always thought that girls were easier but it sounds from the posts that that's not the case!
Pearl x
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