Oscar is now 16 months old - will be 17 months on the 24th. And is starting to exhibit classic toddler tantrums and behaviour. But one thing really gets me.
He's hitting.
Before having Oscar I used to see little kids hitting each other or their parents and think "Oh poor kid must have learnt that behaviour from being hit at home" or "I wouldn't let my child hit me". . .
How wrong I was. I had NO idea.....
Oscar has never been hit, or slapped or spanked or even tapped on the hand. Yet he hits me. Hard.
Yesterday for example we were waiting outside our music class - the previous class was still running and we had to wait but the doors were open and Oz wanted in. He ran in and I scooped him up and out again. And he hit me. Really slapped me in the face. Twice. I could see other mothers looking at me (like I've looked at mothers in a similar position) and I could almost read their minds - "I'd never let my child behave like that..." "that poor child" etc. etc."
I just didn't know what to do. I couldn't put him down because he'd just run in the class. I couldn't ignore the bad behaviour because I was stood in a small hallway outside an open door -again if I took my eyes off him he'd be straight back in there. I squatted down, made eye contact, told him in a lowered serious tone that "we don't hit people"but he just laughed which is his usual response.
He's also exhibiting bad behaviour at home - in particular throwing things (which I know is normal toddler behaviour but I need to tell him not to throw large plastic toys at my head). He does something now and immediately says "no" in a cute little boy voice before I can get in there.
I've watched Supernanny and The House of Tiny Tearaways. I've done what I've seen - got on his level, changed my tone, made eye contact. He just laughs.
So today we instigated the naughty step. I don't think he gets it - we only did it this afternoon and he was on it twice. I had to hold him on it as he wouldn't stay sitting so I did hold him on but didn't look at him or speak. And when the minute was up I explained that it's not nice to hit mummy and he had been naughty.
We'll see. I need to find something to do in public other than eye contact, his level and stern voice. It feels so ineffectual. But I hate it when he hits me in public. It's embarrassing. He's usually so sweet....
So any tips gratefully received. I know this is a very normal stage in his development but it's driving me nuts....
3 comments:
Big hugs babe - I'd set his back legs in concrete... that should do the trick :o)
Hi, it's me. The step is a great idea, only one suggestion, call it the "time out step" or the "calm down step". Though he might be a little young to get the idea. I have stuck Jack in his booster seat with a book and left him there, on his own, for 5 minutes when he's got a little out of hand. Children of this age are not naughty, not intentionally anyway and you shouldn't call them as such. You can tell him he isn't being nice, he's really pissing you off big time etc, but don't call him naughty, not yet! You can do that in a couple of years! Oscar is now more independant and has more skills, one of which is hitting, another throwing and he's showing you this by using you as target practice, it's because he loves you and wants you to see what he can do. Just try and distract him with something else if you can. It's a tricky one hun and every parent goes through one thing or another which makes them think they are judged as a parent, BADLY!
He'll grow out of it, see you soon
Alx
P.S. Note for birthday pressie list. Oscar - 1 whacking great mallett!!
Hi Sall
Sylvie has taken to pinching my cheek and pulling mine and Ruby's hair. She also laughs at any kind of reaction I make. It IS a phase, Oz will grow out of it. As Sylvie laughs if I say no, or dotn do that, or thats naughty what I do is move her to the other end of the room and return to where I was and carry on what I was doing. When she wanders back to me I act as if nothing has happening and distract her by doing something new, like a game, or showing her something. Using distraction is a good tool Ive found at this age when they cant comprehend being told off.
Hope that helps. If not, the concrete idea would work I reckon!
Kell
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