Happy F*&^ing Birthday to Me

So it's my birthday tomorrow. It was a big one last year so I wasn't expecting anything huge tomorrow....but still....

Rob just came home from work - early cos I have to go to the chiropractor as I've thrown my back out. He suddenly says "Oh I was supposed to go somewhere this afternoon and I forgot". I asked him where - he said to get "a few bits" for my birthday.

He hasn't even got me a card.

Now for his birthday I got the boys making things, I baked a cake, I planned ahead and got him everything to make him feel special. Because it was his fortieth I even arranged for his friends to come down and surprise him

I've bought myself a birthday cake - I did that already. And I've booked a babysitter and planned my own birthday meal out.

At least he could have thought ahead and got me a card? It's not like he hasn't had 364 days to plan? He was away in America last week for business, which stressed him out. But cards don't go off. He could have thought ahead.

I know he has ADHD and these things are "hard". But I feel as if I'm totally unimportant, not thought of, not considered. Shit on his shoe.

And he's now pissed off with me for being all disappointed.

My parents also went to France today for 10 days. It's nice to feel like your birthday is important....

I just feel like crap. And don't know where else to write this so I've come here. I know I'm a grown up and birthdays aren't like when you're a kid. But I've always liked to celebrate, to feel special, to feel excited.

And I feel like shit. And my back hurts.

He's got the day off work tomorrow so I can go out and escape. That's something. I have no idea what I want to do - maybe I should just forget the whole fucking thing.