80/365

80/365, originally uploaded by sally_re.

I'm all over the shop today. And it's not just because of Jane Eyre....

Six months ago tomorrow I had a very surreal and strange falling out with my best friend of 20 years. Facebook was a factor, misunderstandings abounded, feelings were hurt and she totally blocked me out of her life.

I'm trying to move on. I have to really - I have no choice. But my stomach is churning and I'm just...all over the place about it today....don't know why

So much has happened in the six months. In 5 months I'll be 40. Maybe that will put the puzzle pieces back together? Does that mean I'll feel grown up and in control and not....discombobulated....?

(On a side note, I have always loved that word and never has it felt more appropriate to use it.)

She might read this. If she does - "hello I miss you". If she doesn't...."goodbye I miss you"

People move through your life don't they - nothing lasts forever....insert cliche here....it's just making me feel wierd today and also making me realise I've got to move on, get on, appreciate what I have....

One thing that has been lovely is everyone's support - not just yesterday but throughout the stresses of the past six months - ADHD, Diabetes, Pain, Bereavement....it's been tough. And although my best friend was gone.....I realised I have many many friends and I'm really grateful for every one of them.

Anais Nin said "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

That just spoke to me somehow today....

Oh I don't know - how waffly is this post? Told you - discombobulated.....