Best birthday ever....followed by son of satan......

So yesterday, 1st August, was my 30somethingth birthday! And it was the best ever. I just have to say at this point that Rob has been amazing over the last few weeks with my op and everything. As well as looking after all of us, doing all the washing, keeping the house together etc....he also had time to buy me the best birthday present ever - an Ipod Touch 32gb....I've wanted one for ages and now I have my very own. Thanks to a wonderful husband and a generous bonus from his job. We also managed to get out to go to dinner the night before at Sapporo and had a lovely evening and loads of sushi (so glad he likes non-fish sushi now!)

Spent a lovely birthday - cake for breakfast as always (and really lovely cake from M&S for a change instead of the corner shop! Again Rob is a star) - then met my girlies for a lunch party at Royal China. I was so touched by everyone coming out to eat, buying me the most appropriate beautiful presents - in Katharine's case she made it - a ceramic glassfired bowl that I adore.....

Then off to bluewater - chauffered by the wonderful Clare - to go to the Apple Store and get a case and protector for my ipod. Then we just had to go to Starbucks...then we had to go to Krispy Kreme -where they gave me the wrong dozen doughnuts so when we went back to get the right ones we ended up keeping the wrong ones - 24 doughnuts - how happy were the boys?

Bubble bath ended the wonderful day - submerged my ankle for the first time and it was bliss. Last wedge of birthday cake and decaff earl grey while checking facebook from my bed. Perfect....

And then today.......

Woke up in agony - ankle very sore and swollen as I walked more yesterday than I had before. Also I think the front scar is infected so made an appointment to see the nurse this afternoon to get antibiotics. The only appointment available was when I have the boys so I was dreading it.

But to begin at the beginning. Boys were going into playscheme today as I had to work and I have to work every week for the next 3 weeks - on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. I'd arranged for them to go to the playscheme where I work - held in Toby's preschool but with different staff. Both were keen and excited to go this morning with their pack lunches. I taught my class then went to see my other Claire friend to plan our new outreach project which starts in September and do some admin work for her. She made me pancakes with natural yogurt and honey, then her 2 daughters made me a birthday cake and sparkly cards. And I did loads of her emails for her. And it was all lovely.....left to pick up the boys and descended into hell.

When I collected them the Playleader said she needed to speak to me about Toby. He'd behaved abysmally - hit almost every other child in the place, shouted at the staff, refused to do what he was told like sit down to eat, shouted at the staff when they tried to stop him jumping all over the place. I was mortified and embarrassed and had no idea what to do. I was furious with him. I told him off, explained that this was unacceptable - got him in the car where he cried for about ten minutes then calmed down.

Then we went to the park opposite the doctor's - we had half an hour to kill before my appointment and the boys played nicely with some other children. Went to the docs for my appointment at 3.40 - I arrived at 3.35......

The nurse eventually called me at 4.20. So I was in a tiny waiting room, getting tutted at by 2 old ladies - both boys were loud and rambunctious but not TOO bad - they just were bored stiff - AS WAS I! Totally fucking useless making me wait for over half an hour when all I wanted was a prescription. Once we were in teh doctors office the boys were climbing on the bed, playing with the curtains. Again - mortified and embarrassed.

I feel like the worst mother in the world today. I feel like I have NO control over my children. I feel useless and angry and humiliated. From having the perfect day yesterday to having the hellish afternoon.

And I've got to take them back to playscheme tomorrow. I'm going to make a behaviour chart for them and ask them to give him a smile or a frown for each hour - but not sure if they will be willing to do this. I can't think of anything else to do. I've just eaten 2 krispy kremes left over from yesterday and I feel marginally better but also marginally worse. HATE this. HATE this behaviour. HATE feeling powerless and useless when all I felt yesterday was magical and happy and lucky.....