Swings and Roundabouts....

So....Oz is settling into school well. Wednesday was his first full day. And my first proper morning off - no children until 1pm when I pick up Toby from nursery. I had a wonderful morning - went to Bromley and had a very leisurely coffee (on a sideline, I've decided that I now make nicer coffee than Starbucks with my lovely coffee machine - I can make it precisely how I like it and they can't despite their marketing promises). Wandered into M&S and got a new bra, having taken my time browsing and trying things on.

Got some contact lenses in Specsavers and then just popped into Evans on a whim....and found....my perfect boots. I've been wanting a pair of knee length boots forever - and with incredibly wide calves, I've seen a few pairs on specialist sites but they're upwards of £180 every time....and I've never been able to get a shop pair over my ankles....but there they were - half price in Evans - black leather, extra wide fitting, stretchy enough to zip up (a little bit tight but really only a little and they'll give as the leather softens.). I love them. I bought them. And I loved walking around with a big fuck off carrier bag with a huge shoebox in. Perfect retail therapy.

I picked Toby up but then an hour later left him with my Mum to go and do an audition up in town. It went well (no idea if I got it) and it was nice to be in Leicester Square - there was a huge crowd waiting for Will Smith there. Nice and buzzy. Nice and grown up....nice and ME again.

Got home and the kids were happy, I was happy, Mum was happy. Lovely......

Went to bed at a reasonable time....and then the payment for the lovely day started to become due.

Toby refused to take any meds last night and he has a rotten cough. So he was coughing all night. Woke me at 12, 3, 5 and then was wide awake at 6.15. I was exhausted by morning. The plan I had was to get them both to nursery/school, skip my usual swim with the other mums and go back to bed. I couldn't get to sleep. My head was whizzing with all the other stuff I had to do - I just couldn't relax. I had a shower and ate some pasta then it was time to pick Toby up.

He hadn't had a bad morning they said at nursery - had slept for about 20 mins and hadn't eaten. We were going straight to a birthday party for my friend's 2 year old daughter Emily - along with all Toby's little chums. Toby was in a foul mood the moment we arrived. Screaming, tantrumming, being horrible. He was tired. I put him in the buggy and wheeled him back and forth in the hall for about 20 minutes. SCREAMING at the top of his voice. I put on my ipod and went for a walk with him, thinking the noise of the kids playing at the party was keeping him awake. He was furious that we'd left the house and he SCREAMED all the way as I walked around the block with my volume as high as it would go, trying to ignore the stares from people walking past.

I walked for 30 minutes. He was so tired but he fought it and fought it. I stopped back at the party to pick up my bag and then threw him in the car and drove. He fell asleep in minutes. By this time I had only 40 minutes until I had to pick up Oz so I parked outside the school and listened to the radio. Toby woke up screaming and then didn't stop. Picked Oz up, took him to his gymnastics class. We waited in the cafe as we were early and I planned to get them a snack before class. I ordered chips (I'm such a good mother) as I knew they'd both eath them. The fuckwit behind the counter took my order. 15 minutes later as Toby was screaming the place down with his heels drumming the floor shouting "chips" I asked the waiter guy how much longer. He'd forgotten to give the order to the kitchen.

So we sat for another ten minutes trying to ignore Toby's screams and the looks from the other customers. Chips arrived. Toby burnt his mouth. Guess what he did?

So Oz goes into Gymnastics. I give Toby jellytots to shut him up or I would have committed infanticide with a plastic fork and some ketchup. On rare occasions at Gymnastics they leave the blinds on the windows open (the window looks into the cafe) so parents can watch their little angels as they do their class. Invariably Toby is always on his worst behaviour on these days so I don't often get to watch Oz. But jellytots and chips were keeping him quiet so I snuck over to the crowd of parents who were watching.....

Just in time to see Oscar jam his hands down the back of his shorts exposing his bum, scratch all around and inside his little arsecrack, pull out his finger and examine it thoroughly, then wipe his nose with it.

I was so proud.

Remind me again why I had kids?