A shitty 24 hours - literally

Ok if the title wasn't enough to convince you, here's a warning - if you aren't a parent or are squeamish about children's bodily functions STEP AWAY FROM THE SCREEN now......

Last night Oz, bless him, had an accident - I can count on one hand the number of accidents he's had since potty training last year but this was a doozy. There's a tummy bug doing the rounds and lets say Oscar had an explosive incident on his way to the toilet. He didn't make it. The bathmat collected most of it. Grim. He was very upset. I was slightly nauseated but we cleaned it all up and it was done.

Toby has been filling his nappy about 5 times a day in the last few days - god knows with what as he has hardly been eating! He's also impossible to change at the moment - unless I'm at home where I have a change mat with over shoulder and waist restraints. He will not lie still. And at playgroup this morning changing shitty nappy No 2 of the day he wriggled so much that I obviously didn't put the nappy on securely enough. Oscar had thrown the mother of all tantrums (for a change - usually it's Toby) in the playgroup and I was stressed and frazzled. But it was a stupid thing to do as I later found out.

I usually love Tuesday afternoons - it's when I chuck them both in the creche at the Leisure Centre and sit in the library or the cafe and have an hour and a half of ME time. Just as I'd got my coffee and was walking to my table clutching Star Magazine, the creche lady came out. Now she NEVER disturbs me- my kids love the creche and the staff are amazing.....but it seems Toby was covered in poo. And they couldn't work out how. He'd managed to cover the whole creche in it too.....so much so that they were having to close it down for an hour to disinfect it.

I left my lovely steaming cappucino to go and deal with a steaming pile of something else. Toby had managed to dislodge his nappy (which was clean) and shit down his trouser leg. He was covered, his shoes were covered. It was horrid. I didn't have a change of clothes so I had to carry him out to the car in just a coat and a nappy. Oz was furious at having to leave. Toby also hadn't slept all day at this point so he was screamy and whiny.

Got home and thank god for my mother (again). She came over and babysat, giving me the escape route - I went to Sainsburys to buy nappies since I'm going through them at a rate of knots,(they're a third off at the moment - bargain). I also had a coffee there.

I feel grubby. I think my house stinks. I spent ages trying to get poo off fake suede shoes - Toby only has one pair so until I get them clean and dry we ain't going anywhere. I'm going to have a hot bubble bath and wash my kids out of my hair - probably literally.

Tomorrow Toby has his first settling in at nursery. I can't wait.....