Oscar and the bump

Kirsti took these...love em....

(as you can see - he now takes his guitar everywhere with him....)

K and Terry leave for home tomorrow and will be sorely missed - by Oscar most of all.....

My Mum has offered to take Oz tomorrow night which means Rob and I get New Years Eve together as a twosome...god knows when we'll have that opportunity again. As you can see, I'm not up for dancing the night away - we've booked a table at our fave Japanese/Chinese restaurant and will have a quiet dinner in peace. Then I'll probably be in bed before midnight.

I keep thinking how different everything is going to be next year. It's exciting and scary all at the same time....so many things happened this year - getting pregnant, starting the lab, teaching Monkey Music....I was very lucky personally and had no real bad times in 2006 - it was a great year.

So here's to 2007. The year that I have childREN!

A Very Merry Musical Christmas

Ah it's all about the kids isn't it - this is the first year we've really experienced Christmas with a concious Oscar. From the moment he opened his stocking and saw the amount of sweets in it....we were laughing so hard! He couldn't believe his luck - he got toy dinosaurs, cars, a motorbike, tons of sweets and a train in his stocking.

Then we went to my parents and he was an angel - slept right through our Christmas dinner - I had mashed potato for the first time in 9 months - bliss - and then woke up as we finished our christmas pud - so we had a lovely peaceful dinner. Then we opened presents as we do in our house after lunch. He got some wonderful gifts on a mainly musical theme - a guitar from us, a trumpet from my sister and a keyboard from his grandparents. He's in heaven.

A thoroughly wonderful day. Here's a montage (my first!)


Christmas 2006

My favourite picture

Oz had some photos taken at nursery - I'll post more when it's not nearly bedtime...

this is my favourite - cheeky urchin!

Oscar met Santa....and the carol concert footage

Finally found the pics that Kirsti put on my computer - well here's Oz and Santa (he's telling Santa to look at the penguin)
And here on YouTube is Oscar's carol concert - he just wouldn't sit still! He's on the far right, front row in case you didn't spot him...with his santa hat on! (it's a bit long and I won't be insulted if you don't watch it all!)

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Decision....

Had another hospital/scan/midwife appt this morning. I knew it would be confirming the decisions I made with the consultant 2 weeks ago. First off - baby is normal size again - around 6lbs which is fab. Everything good. My levels aren't brilliant but they're ok and obviously baby is still not being affected too adversely so I'm pleased.

Then the midwife explained a bit more about the possible waterbreaking/induction and how the labour would go if I managed to go into labour. The consultant had said I'd be monitored a lot during it. But the midwife also said I'd be on a drip the whole time to monitor my sugar levels and give me insulin. And I'd probably be bed bound realistically - and therefore almost certainly have an epidural as it's more painful that way. I wouldn't be able to walk around or move. I'd be stuck on a bed.

Exactly what I don't want. I know I wanted to avoid a caesar at all costs but the idea of labouring on a bed for hours, with no ability to move or anything....it's not what I want. It's up to me - they may not be able to break my waters anyway so it may be a moot point. I may just have the planned caesarian anyway. But at the moment I'm scheduled to go in on the Sunday night to be "induced". I think I'm going to tell them not to bother trying. And put away my raspberry leaf and clary sage. I don't want to labour like that.

I was so terrified of the recovery for the caesarian. But as I learn more and make more contingency plans, it's not going to be that bad - I'll cope. I recovered fast from the emergency one and the recovery from a planned one is always easier. I've already put things in place for care of Oscar - like staying in nursery for full days for a few weeks rather than half days. Asking for help from friends. I think it will be fine. And it's only a few weeks.

Of course if I sponataneously go into labour before the 7th then so be it. But I'm not going to try and start it. No fresh pineapple or curry (or sex - Rob is so disappointed).

I'm 90% sure this is what I want - what do you think?

It's Oh So Quiet...shhhh shhhhh

Morning! It's twenty past six in the morning and the house is sooo quiet and lovely. I'm wide awake and thought instead of lying very uncomfortably in bed, I'd come downstairs and have some tea....and catch up on everything.

It's Day ?..of the builders being here....erm...I can't count cos my brain isn't working - but the builders have been in over a week now. The portaloo is still in place but we're hoping to have the toilet back in on Thursday. The house is covered in dust. I've been having to go out all day, every day. The bath is in, the tiles are nearly done, the floor (amazing floor) is down....we're getting there. It'll be worth it...but I'm fed up of peeing in a bucket.

Sunday - my in-laws came to visit. They have only been once since Oscar was born so last time they saw him, he was a baby in arms (Rob isn't very close to his family). It was an utter joy to see how enchanted they were by their grandson. I hope we'll see them more now....

My sister and her partner Terry arrived on Monday - oh happy day - as did my Dad. Oscar thinks it's Christmas already. with all this family! On Monday I had to drag him to the car to bring him home at the end of the day - he didn't want to leave!

My sis brought me a suitcase full of goodies from America - some I can have now, some for post-nondiabetic me. And some beautiful things for the baby - little fleecy babygrows with zips up the front not poppers - SO much easier - why don't they do them in England....?

Yesterday Oz was at nursery - I took Rob to take his driving theory test in the morning - he passed! Now he promised, before the baby came, to learn to drive and give up smoking. Has he? Has he hell. The only reason he did his theory test is because I booked it for him. He's yet to have a single lesson in a car. But he passed! So that's something. I'm taking bets on whether or not he'll have to take it again before his driving test as I think he's only got 2 years before it runs out.....

K and Terry (bless their hearts) came over after lunch to help me tidy the house. I say help. I lay on the bed and directed really. I had braxtonhicks all day yesterday - in fact got a bit worried at one point that I might be going into labour! Not comfortable. I didn't have BH with Oscar - certainly not like this. I didn't think you got them in second pregnancies....or maybe it's because of my caesarian scar - I feel them more.....they eased eventually.

In the afternoon it was Oscar's carol concert. His first public performance - my first of many moments sitting in an audience on a chair that's made for a 2 year old, grinning my head off. He was the kid (there's always one) that wouldn't sit down - kept coming for a cuddle between songs then sitting back down again...led the applause at the end of each song (he loves to clap) and didn't sing much but when he did was the loudest. Terry took some footage - I'll make sure I post it when I can - it was tooooo cute!

Mum bought us all sushi dinner (I know you shouldn't when you're pregnant but I don't care) so we feasted on salmon and tempura handrolls and maki and edamame and it was yum.

Today Oscar's being allowed to bunk off school as the aunties want to take him to see Santa - we haven't done that this year yet. He's awake now - it's 6.40...peace shattered. But I got to write up my last few days.

I haven't been commenting on everyone's blogs but I'm reading and sending love!

Goodbye John...hello Jude

It must be pregnancy hormones. Last week I was lusting after Signor Barrowman...today I saw The Holiday and now have a huge roaring crush on Jude Law!! Now I've never seen the appeal before - seen him in quite a few things but he always came across as quite weedy. And a tad slimey.

But in The Holiday - ohmigod. His character is swoonsome - the ideal romantic man - charming, self deprecating, gorgeous (especially in his glasses) and totally unexpectedly wonderful- I won't say anymore as I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet but it's a perfect chick christmas flick. And he and Cameron Diaz have very good chemistry.


It felt quite decadent to go to the cinema on a Tuesday afternoon - Julie and I went as the LAB wasn't on this week as we closed for christmas and this was our christmas treat.

My only problem with the film - Cameron and Jude were like the "beautiful" couple -and Kate Winslet and Jack Black were the frumpy but nice couple - Kate Winslet - Frumpy? I'm sorry - she's just as glam and gorgeous as Cam.....

But it's a fabulous feelgood film. Oz was at nursery all day so I had a lovely time (I'm such a bad mother). Spent the morning in Ikea with Mum buying amazing accessories for the bathroom, then met Julie for lunch and movies, quick stop at Starbucks for my eggnog latte and picked Oz up from nursery. Then Rob was home 3o minutes later.

Oscar is currently being bathed - like the used to be as a baby - in the baby bath in front of the fire in the living room. He sits in it like a chair now and Rob has taught him to say "bring me my pipe and slippers". Then he was lying barenekkid on a towel in front of the fire - so so cute. I couldn't find the blasted camera or I'd have bored you with shots - I'll try and find it and take some tomorrow.

Portaloo is still in place. Bucket worked a treat (Rob emptied it for me this morning - that's love that is). It's bloody cold though using it this evening - and still surreal having a pee when you can hear people walking on teh pavement 10 feet away.....bathroom progress has been made - the toilet soil pipe has been moved and the toilet is in there - not plumbed in yet but I think they're working as fast as they can to get it plumbed in.

On the downside they discovered our central heating pump is on the verge of collapse so we need a new one - rather found that out now than when it failed when the baby was here - but an expensive addition. (Not that I'm paying for it thanks to my amazing parents).

My amazing parents have also decided to fork out an extra few quid so I can have a pump installed to give me a superamazing power shower - I had a shower at Mum's this morning and it was so wonderful it made my whole head zing - and so Mum rang the builder and got him to get one for my bathroom.

I'm so damn lucky. I know. I appreciate them I really do. I sound like a spoilt princess don't I - and I suppose in a lot of ways I am.

So here's to amazing folks, amazing hubby, cute kids and Jude Law....what a combo!

The new bathroom - DAY 1

NOT a great day. Waited in for the builders to arrive - I was expecting them at 8am - they got here at 11 - by which time Oscar was literally bouncing off the walls - I usually go out with him by 9 on a Monday and he had a ton of energy.

Drove to Bromley with the idea of leaving Oscar to play happily in the creche while I did some christmas shopping via Starbucks for an eggnog latte.....no luck. ALL the car parks were full! On a Monday at 11.15am? And schools still running? NO idea why. So I drove around or rather got stuck in lots of traffic...and Oscar fell asleep. Bugger.

So it's 11.30 - I think - drive to Mum's - put Oscar down there like I planned and have a nap myself (didn't sleep well last night) then go out earlier this afternoon - we'd planned to meet friends at the museum. Got to Mum's. Carried Oscar up 2 flights of stairs which hurt. As soon as I laid him down - he woke up. And wouldn't go back to sleep. Goodbye naptime for both of us and I REALLY needed one.

45 minutes later I gave up. Put him back in the car and drove to Gambado - the soft play place. He was so tired but refused to sleep. Had about 8 tantrums. Pushed and slapped some other children. Slapped me.

At 3.15 I drove to Mums again to pick up something I'd forgotten and ended up in tears because I couldn't park properly - yes I was just as overtired as the 2 year old - and hormonal!

So my angel mother put me to bed and entertained the child for an hour. We drove home to find out portaloo installed and my bathroom gutted. They did so much in one day - makes me hopeful...

I haven't been brave enough to use it yet. It's in the front garden - yes - on the main road - they couldn't get it in the back.....

I've bought some air freshener - one of those fan ones - to keep it "fresh". How fresh is a chemical toilet...*shudder*. Rob has used it - said it wasn't too bad....

Confession - I've bought a bucket for the night-time (though god knows the logistics of that one - can't exactly sit on it at 8 months pregnant). Oh god. The glamour. It will all be worth it....I hope!

On the upside - Mum came up with the idea of funky flooring - so I'm getting tiles from Harvey Maria - click on the lifestyle range -we're going for water.....so the bathroom itself is pure white tile and the suite is white....with that floor. I think it will look amazing.

My lovely hubby

Rob has been working like a demon today. We made a start on Oscar's new room ages ago - the bed basically - but his clothes were in the baby room still. I hadn't got any of the baby clothes out of the attic - hadn't done anything baby-wise to prep.

I've been worrying about packing my hospital bag for a while now....and realised I haven't got anything to pack. So today my lovely husband has cleared, tidied, sorted, put things in the loft, got things down - made it all ready for me to go through the boxes of baby clothes later tonight and get organised.

Since I got 2 weeks shaved off my due date as it were, i've been getting more neurotic. And he's realised this so made it his business to slave today to make me happy. And I'm so grateful.

So three cheers for Rob!

pregnancy update

Had a good hospital appointment this morning with a fab consultant. Plus a scan. Good news on the scan - baby boy is normal size - exactly as he should be and measuring as if I haven't got diabetes which I'm really happy about - makes all the hard diet work worth it. (btw my bloods are still not under control - I'm taking a ridiculous amount of insulin before bed and my fasting blood is still way too high - but at least it isn't affecting baby yet)

I have three options for delivery now after talking with the consultant. In an ideal world - I go in to labour naturally at around 38 weeks - ie 5th January - she recommended LOTS of sex so that's Rob's christmas present sorted. She said even if I'm labouring naturally, they'll monitor me a lot more than a "normal" labour - I'll be on that bloody monitor most of the time and baby will probably have a scalp monitor attached (Oscar did - it didn't seem to bother him) - this is because they have to keep an eye on my caesarian scar and the best way to check the strength of contractions is through baby's heartbeat....all being well I'll push the little sucker out no problem.

Plan B - I don't go into labour naturally but my cervix is soft at 38 weeks and baby's head has begun to engage. They'll break my waters to start me off. They can only do this if the head is down as if it isn't, the cord comes down before the baby and makes everything difficult. Now, Oscar's head never enagaged properly which isn't a great sign - but you never know - every pregnancy is different. And this baby is currently smaller than his big brother was at this stage.

If neither of the above are possible - they'll section me at 38 weeks - this is cos my blood sugars aren't behaving and because they do that if you've had a caesar previously.

So whatever happens - I'm going to have this baby about 2 weeks before I thought I would. Which is a relief.

Cross your fingers/pray/chant - do whatever you do - that I go for option A and labour normally. I've bought my rasperry leaf and will start taking it just after New Years I think to help it along.....

Sad day....

One of my oldest friends lost her father last weekend. And the funeral was today. Her mother died two and a half years ago and now her Dad is gone. I can't imagine the pain of being an orphan at 36 years old.....

She asked me to go to the funeral which I was really glad to do - to be there for her and to say goodbye to her wonderful Dad. I've never really been to a proper funeral (that's what comes from a non-religious family). The two I attended were my grandparents and they were very simple, non religious cremations - sad but very short. This was an absolutely beautiful service - an hour of eulogy, hyms, readings. All three of the children were supposed to read - my friend's eldest brother managed to read his but broke into tears many times. The middle brother and my friend both got their partners to read for them as they were so upset. Grandchildren read their memories, we laughed and smiled at the stories. And wept.

I cried all the way through. I mean I cry at adverts at the moment - and this was a wonderful emotional remembrance of an amazing man. I remember him as always smiling, joking, always interested in you, such a warm wonderful man. He was from Belfast and his voice always reminded me of my childhood time in Belfast.

My friend's heart is broken and I ache for her and her family. And I'm glad I was there today cos I got to give her a big hug. But I'm exhausted - emotionally and physically. A long drive there and back.

So raise a glass, have a thought for Bill who was laid to rest today - a wonderful charismatic man, a truly humble and proud father and grandfather. Reunited with his wife again. And probably smiling down on us and sending us psychic tips on good horses to bet on (he placed three bets the day he died - and two won - my favourite anecdote from today)

It's embarrasing but....

I've been meaning to confess this for ages.....

Ever since "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria" and the first series of Dr Who, i've had a seriously huge lustcrush on John Barrowman.

Now the man has been knocking around on British Tv and Theatre for ages....from doing naff Live and Kicking stuff to singing and dancing. And he's never appealed. But Captain Jack on Dr Who...and when he snogged the finalists on Maria....he's suddenly incredibly sexy. And I've got dreams to prove it. Phew.

Imagine my surprise when someone mentioned a while ago that he was gay. Now I read Heat magazine every week. I read showbiz gossip on the internet. I consider myself to have a finger on the pulse of celeb life....but I had NO idea! Honest! I feel like an imbecile!

I didn't believe it. Until he started mincing about with Simon Amstell on Nevermind the Buzzcocks the other week.

I'm absolutely devastated. I mean I should have guessed. He's GORGEOUS. He's funny. He's sexy. He sings showtunes for chrissake. But I had no no clue....

Is it just me? Am I seriously being blonde here?

Still a girl can dream.......

**((edited to add....Moxie - go easy on the pisstaking....))**

Wassup!

Again apologies for the lack of updating. Good job I didn't sign up for NaBloPoMo as I'd have failed miserably (unlike the amazing Poppy who is doing a rockin job)

What can I say - no excuse apart from sitting at the puter is becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Bump is getting bigger. Blood sugar is better but not under control - it looks like I have to go on daytime injections - but it means I can ease up a bit on the diet and also eat a decent christmas dinner (I can inject extra just before so I can have what I want!). I'm seeing the diabetologist this Friday so will let you know. I'm resigned to it now. My daytime levels are ok but I'm having to take a ton of insulin at night and it still isn't stopping my morning sugar from being high - so maybe a dose during the day will ease it. My body seems to be very insulin resistant!

Baby is kicking me to hell - he seems SO much more active than Oz was (or maybe I've forgotten). An unbroken night's sleep is a thing of the past but that's to be expected at this stage....I'm in the home stretch.

Been very blue today for no apparent reason. Luckily an eggnog latte made me cheer up a bit. Oscar had a kiddie hot chocolate in a very cute mini-Starbucks mug. I stole it. I'm not proud. Well no actually I am cos it was bloody expensive for a small cold hot chocolate. And I'm pregnant and not responsible for my actions. So ya boo sucks. I don't care.

Yesterday I did a photoshoot for my business partner Julie - she's starting a branch of FAB - Fashion After Birth - which is bespoke tailored jeans. So she wanted to shoot all shapes and sizes in jeans. Another pregnant chum from our mummy gang came with me and we tootled to Tooting and had lots of pics taken. Julie has promised to send me them asap. I had a wig on! My hair is so blah at the moment - and I've had this wig for YEARS - bought it on a whim on Ebay of all places. The photographer didn't realise until I whipped it off at the end so it can't have looked bad. The other models were all skinny and gorgeous - I was the plus-sized maternity model. And will be the plus-sized sample for Julie once I've birthed. It was good fun - everyone else was doing sexy moody shots to camera but the photographer said I looked cheeky so I was grinning and being silly. We were all in white vests and jeans and then jeans and black bras! And then the non-preggy ones did jeans and hands over boobs. They looked great so I'll post some as soon as I get them. Note for future model mummies - St Laurent's Touche Eclat does not work on stretch marks.....

Oscar's new favourite song.....

I have been so fed up with listening to nursery rhymes so I've been introducing show tunes to my son (Rob says I'm corrupting him). We've listened to the soundtrack of HAIR a few times (with me quickly forwarding the CD when songs like "Sodomy" come on) and this week we have been mostly listening to the soundtrack of Chicago - the movie one....

Oscar LOVES "If You're Good to Mama" and insists on having it on permanent repeat....and he sings along to it. Should I worry? It's more innuendo than rudeness....and I think he thinks it's a song about mummies......

Makes me laugh anyway.

In other news...he slept in his bed. 2 nights in a row!! He's a big boy. We didn't make it for this lunchtime's nap - he ended up in his cot again - but we're getting there.....

That nesting instinct...

has kicked in already! I'm 31 weeks now - don't remember when it happened last time. We were doing our usual Sunday afternoon clean up - Rob tends to do most of it - when I was gripped with cleaning mania. Starting clearing surfaces....wiping down cupboards...I even cleaned and reorganised my fricking spice rack....

I just couldn't stop! I kept seeing things that needed doing. I just finished cleaning the counter when I decided to de-crumb the toaster - which meant I had to clean the counter again. I was like an OCD person!

I finally stopped - my back was killing me and I felt a bit faint! I had forgotten that irrational urge....as those of you who know me well (especially Mox who has lived with me) will know...i'm not a tidy person. I don't mean you could nominate me for How Clean Is Your House (not these days anyway) but i usually do a good surface job and pile clutter all over the place....

Blimey. One good thing about pregnancy eh - my kitchen is gleaming......

I'm off to bed but will try and clean my teeth without looking at how dirty my bathroom is or I'll ever get to sleep!

Bump this morning.... 

Not your average chain letter

I got a fab email from a stonecutter pal today - a recipe exchange. There were two names on it - hers second and another in position one - you send a recipe to the person on position 1, then forward it to ten friends - putting the sender's name at No 1 and yours at No 2. Easy peasy. And then you get recipes by email! They send it to 10, putting your name at No 1 and the recipes roll in.

I've already had 6 come in and I only forwarded it this morning! I've never done a recipe exchange before and am really enjoying this. It was hard to pick just 10 friends to do it so I may do another one. Or see if I get it back from mutual friends.....it's been really lovely.

So if I sent it to you - thank you for continuing it on - I don't forward chain letters but this was such fun!

Oz has been an angel today - this afternoon anyway (he was at nursery this morning). We went to Tescos and he helped me with the shopping. I'm so tired now though....I'm typing this on the laptop as he watches Harry and his bucket full of Dinosaurs - he's entering a dinosaur fetish I think (Oscar, not Harry).

He's been talking to my bump today. He likes the name Freddie today...though he still thinks we should call it Baby. By the time it's born, he'll probably want to call it Stegosaurus.

So much for more time!

I've been rubbish haven't I! Not posted for ages.....I haven't been on the computer much to be honest - third trimester knackeredness has hit with a vengeance, plus it's uncomfortable on the seat in front of the computer. I keep meaning to find my big birthing ball from last time and wobble on that in front of the puter! It's in the loft somewhere.

All is well here though. Oz is alternately a demon or an angel - sure I've written that before. My lovely Mum is here at the moment so she's entertaining him in his new room - he still hasn't slept in the bed - it's too much a novelty still!

Went to my local JobCentre today to get my Maternity Allowance form checked over - waste of time. It's a grim place - chock full of huge security guards - three of whom stopped me in about 10 foot asking to see my appointment card. I kept explaining that I'd made the appointment by phone - they must have a lot of aggro in there - and I'm not surprised - it's a depressing place. I had to wait half an hour before being told by the woman that it looked alright to her, she'd never done one of these forms before, she was income support, but that she'd send it off and they'd write to me if there was a problem. I patiently explained that that was the reason I'd made an appointment - to ensure that there wasn't any inconsistencies or missing information. I asked if there was anyone else who could help me...she said no. WASTE of time.

We had a lovely weekend though - one of our oldest friends, Simon, came down with his wife Yuki and their daughter Lillia. She's an angel - 7 months old. They stayed overnight on Sunday as they had an appointment at the Japanese Embassy on Monday to get Lillia's passport. Here's Yuki and the beautiful girl....and then Daddy and Daughter flaked out on the floor!

Here's a pic of Oscar on Halloween - the only one i managed to get before he refused to put the costume on again - he didn't like it!

In other news....LAB still isn't pulling them in - despite us offering FREE entry this week! We only had 1 customer. What do we have to do? Pay them to come? I'm trying to hang in there and keep positive but it's very demoralising. On the up side, met a wonderful woman, Remi, who is going to be our life coach - she's fab. She thinks we're doing brilliantly so I believe her.

Erm - what else have i been doing? I can't bloomin remember. Congrats to Bobbie whose son arrived this week.....Happy Birthday to Pearl for Friday....erm.....general lurve all around to everyone - and again...my Mum is fab (I know she reads this you see!). She's just hoovered Oscar's bedroom.....hoorah!

Happy pootling....

It's my first official morning "off". Dropped Oscar to nursery at 8...dropped Rob to the station at the same time....and came home to my empty house. All mine until 1 when I pick Oz up again. It's my replacement's first day of Monkey Music and I have been sending her good vibes.

But I'm loving this!!! I've gently tidied the kitchen up a bit..just pottering and pootling around...no rush at all. The plumber came round to look at my bathroom- don't know if I mentioned this but I'm getting the best ever Christmas present from my parents this year - a brand new bathroom - our current one has a teeny bath and hideous enormous sink....it's awful. I haven't had a decent bubble bath for 4 years....and that's my addiction - my main way to relax - a candlelit bath.....

I didn't realise but we'll probably have to move in with Mum when they do it (don't know if she realised that either!). But it's going to be amazing. And done before Christmas.

So a pleasant half hour discussing bath options, towel rails, tiling...fantasising about a huge deep wide bath.....

Now I'm pottering again....tidying up in the front room - the window cleaner has just been. I'm going to stop and have a cup of tea in about half an hour...

And I've got the same tomorrow....and Friday....and every week until 2Bee arrives.

NEVER thought I'd be a happy housewife....but it's nice to have some time - no pressure -no rushing to get cleaning done before Oscar wakes up or anything....no pressure to get it done today as I've got tomorrow and Friday morning....just ME time....something I haven't had during the day for ages......

Thank you for all your comments with the names by the way - REALLY useful. It was my shortlist - Rob hadn't vetoed any as such but he didn't really love them all - and there were so many! It was a very big short list. We've narrowed it down to three....that we both love. And this is what will stay I think until we meet the little man himself and decide what he looks like. Then we may call him something totally different (Oscar was never on our shortlist)

So - it's either Benedict....Stanley....or Freddie. I love them all but am veering towards Stanley - Stan the Man......and Freddie works with our surname quite nicely. Though I love Ben too, Rob's sister has a Ben so the other two are out in front. My mother HATES Stanley. But then she hated Oscar as a name too......

I'll probly change my mind again before January - but it's closing in - can't BELIEVE where the time has gone. Bump is getting bigger by the day and is starting to be uncomfortable...i'd forgotten that heavy pulling feeling on the sides of your stomach - very crampy. My boobs have started to get sore again as they're gearing up to the final stages - again I'd forgotten about that....I'm officially on the home stretch now - third trimester.....

So there you go - you can tell I've got time cos that's the longest post I've done for ages. I'll probably spend more time online this week - but have rationed myself to email check and blog this morning as I want to tidy up and clean my pit of a house. So more tomorrow.

Just feeling so smiley this morning I had to share the love. Hope you're all smiling too.

Names names names

In our tidying frenzy this past week I found my bumper book of baby names....and have made another list....opinions please! And do feel free to be totally honest if you hate some - I want real opinions....

Archer, Arden, Arthur, Avery, Benedict, Brady, Braedon, Byron, Caleb, Cameron, Casper, Charlie, Corbin, Daniel, Dominic, Emmett, Ethan, Frederick, Flynn, Gilbert, Gregory, Haley, Harry, Heath, Inigo, Jared, Jay, Joel, Joseph, Jude, Kieran, Kit, Kyle, Laurie, Lyndon, Lysander, Macaulay, Malachi, Nicholas, Rafferty, Ryder, Stanley, Sylvan, Tate, Timothy, Tobias, Tor, Tristan, Tyler, Valentine, Woodrow, Zeke, Ziggy

More movies

These are loud! Oscar at Mum's this morning playing on his drumkit. They're only 20 odd seconds long - that's all my phone does at once - am trying to work out how we can afford to get a new digital movie camera.....Santa if you're reading this.....

Anyway - enjoy!

Online!

Well that didn't last long...well it did - all week for me but only told you about it yesterday! Last night - since we had time and no Oscar - we got it fixed. We now have a huge long extension lead running to the computer so we have to think of a better solution - but at least I can get online again!

Offline!

In case you were wondering why I've gone all quiet it's cos our modem has packed up - I'm currently at my Mum's on her computer....

Rob has had the week off and we've been converting the spare (dumping) room into Oscar's new bedroom. We got his new bedroom stuff on Monday on a family outing to Ikea - great fun - Mum came too and we got all sorts of lovely things for his room including this bed:

He LOVES it. Loves the ladder - loves what he calls the "tent" on top. Rob and I spent the week sorting stuff as we'd been using the spare room as a place to keep all of Oscar's old clothes in bags - now sorted into age range for 2Bee. Rob reorganised the loft. We took a lot of stuff to charity shops and have a lot of rubbish out front of our house. If only they did Yard Sales in the UK!

Anyway - part of the sort was to move the office furniture downstairs - including the computer. We unplugged it - moved it down - re-hooked it up and the modem wouldn't work. Tried everything. Nada. Rang the helpdesk -they talked me through tons of stuff - then sent me a new modem. Which arrived this morning. Still no joy. I've tried it in 3 different phone points but it isn't connecting. NO idea why. So I'm offline (and well pissed off) until I can work it out.

I haven't got long here at Mums but will try and catch up - I know so much will have been going on on my friends' blogs and I miss my daily fix!

All is well at our house though - got told off by the midwife this week cos I'm losing weight (not eating enough) - my blood sugars still aren't right but I've got to eat more carbs and stop skipping meals. Baby is fine, bp is fine - all is well.

Right - Oscar is asleep upstairs, Rob and I are off out to my favourite japanese/chinese restaurant for the cheap as chips all you can eat £10 buffet. Will try and post when I can but don't know when it will be.....

For Moxie

To my darlin Mox. All last week I kept thinking -must post a card to that chum of mine as it's her birthday on Monday. I even bought one. But I'm crap - this last week, finishing work and all - it's been worse than usual on the brain front. So I'm REALLY sorry but I haven't posted it. But I haven't forgotten it either.

So this post is just for you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dearest Moxie, Happy Birthday to you.

You're always so good and never forget mine, Rob's or Oscar's. I'm totally crap. Just know i love you to bits and am sending you all my love. Hope you have a great day.

My first attempt at youtubing!

I've got a new mobile phone - got a free upgrade and a funky nokia with a video camera...plus a good cable to download to the puter with (which I lost on my previous phone).

So I've attempted to share my videos - hope this works - it's taken with the phone so it isn't brilliant....and i can't work out how to convert them from .3gp format to an mpeg so I can't edit them together so they're only 20 seconds (if anyone knows how I can do this for FREE please tell me)

Here's Oz playing with his Baby Einstein puppets....






Tell me if it works! If not - i need help...

Ouch!!

I have hurt my foot. Last night, coming down the stairs, I trod on a plug. Yes your average three pin plug....but instead of it just bruising - the longest pin stuck in the sole of my foot. I put my full weight on it.....Couldn't work out what it was then reached down and yanked a plug out of my foot.

OUCH!

I was very faint but didn't pass out- just had to lie at the bottom of the stairs bleeding! Rob was putting Oscar to bed and came downstairs - Oscar was a bit freaked out - but I felt ok after five minutes of lying down....never felt that faint before - even when I cut my ring finger so deep I saw bone - maybe it's cos of the pregnancy....

So I'm off to see the nurse this morning as I'll probably need a tetanus shot. As if i'm not injecting enough at the moment (no..the insulin dose is still rising as my blood sugar is still too high - I'm on 18 now - started at 2....)

Argh!

Feeling very spoilt today

Penultimate Monkey Music week - and one of the mums isn't going to be here next week for my last class so presented me with a huge bouquet of yellow flowers which made me cry. I'm realising how much I'm going to miss the kids in the classes. I've watched them grow up over the last year and I'm very very fond of them....next week I'm bringing lots of tissues.

Then came home to find a parcel from Poppy! With one of my favourite treats in it - beef jerky. I love the stuff. Poppy and I once bought some at a place called Peckerwoods - and we have the t-shirts to prove it! Jerky is available over here but is exorbitantly expensive so Poppy - you're an angel -with everything you're coping with at the moment, it makes me so grateful and thankful - it's a low GI treat and I'm scarfing it as I type! Hoorah for my wonderful friends....

Haven't posted much I know - am so tired. One more week of MM and then I'll be sane.....

I'm a brave girl

I injected myself with insulin today. Saw the midwife and got all the gumph. It is a pen but it still looks like a needle. I have to push it in to my thigh, press the plunger and wait for 3 seconds. It took me a while to pluck up the courage to do it but I did it and it was ok. Well it wasn't. But I'll manage.

I only have to do it once a day at night. And I have to eat more often cos I'm not eating enough (SO unlike me!).

My bp was perfect, I'm measuring exactly where I should be and the heartbeat was fine - baby kicked a lot too which you could hear really clearly!

So all is well. I've got my head around the insulin and the planned caesar if it happens. I'm never going to feel blase about stabbing myself in the leg, despite how small the needle is. But I'm going to put my big girl panties on and deal.

Big boy Oz

At Oscar's baby shower he received a beautiful Pooh Bear quilt from 2 of my stonecutter chums. He used it for the first time tonight and he looks so CUTE and little in his big cot bed with a proper duvet. He love hiding under our duvet in our bed so I thought this would be a good idea - to get him used to when he moves into a proper bed at the end of October. I've been dying to put this on his bed but he wriggles so much. And it was hot over the summer. Now the nights are cooler and it's perfect!

Two things....

First off - MOXIE YOU ARE NAUGHTY! I've been dying to find out all day what colour baby she is carrying - she had her scan today - and she's being a tease (quelle surprise) and not telling. Having known the woman for 17 odd years, she's a master at this sort of thing. I think about tormenting people but my gob is too big - I get excited and blurt it out

Mox has the patience of a saint. She managed to convince me, over a wind up period of at least a month, that our shared student house was haunted - by doing various tricks like spraying polish around the house, bending spoons in the cutlery drawer (only my spoons) and removing batteries from the remote control, making me think it was broken, only to put them back in and change channels when I wasn't looking and freak me out.

She has evil ways. She will probably torment us all with this one till the baby is born....grrrrr!!!

Second....Oscar's face was a picture today and I'm gutted I didn't have the camera - There was the most amazing rainbow in the sky this evening - totally perfect - only lasted for a couple of minutes. Rob called us out and we three (should I say four with the bump) stood and gazed at it - Oz's face was a mixture of awe and joy. He's never seen a rainbow in real life that clear before. He knows what it is and stuff. We stood and all sang "I can sing a rainbow" together. It blew his tiny mind. Made me think - wouldn't that be a cool first memory for him to have? Standing in the garden in Daddy's arms watching the most perfect rainbow fade into a grey sky.......

You asked for it...

Cos I promised Moxie - not that I look half as gorgeous as she does in these....remember, I've had a rough week. Here's my bump

Close up!

My bump 

In praise of my Mum

She's been amazing today. We went to the docs - Oz is ok- it's just a virus (that's what they always say) and he seemed cheerful enough - he just sounds dead croaky. I was told to drink lots and not to worry about baby being affected by my liquid bowels (sorry).

Then I went to Mum's. She had Oscar from 10.30 until 5pm, enabling me to go home and sleep - I'm so weak and tired. I picked him up - he'd had such fun - and brought him home. Then she came round at 7 and put him to bed for me. She was so amazing - I don't know what I'd have done today without her.

While Mum was putting Oz down (another battle like yesterday) the diabetic midwife rang me back - and reassured me that my levels weren't bad at all. That it wouldn't be as easy to control this time as it was last time and that I mustn't panic. And I MUST eat. Especially carbs. If I don't eat any carbs or sugar, my body produces it itself which is one of my main problems - my fasting blood is high because my body is dumping sugar from my liver. She said if my morning levels continued to be high to ring her on Monday and she'd put me on insulin on Tuesday instead of waiting till my scheduled appointment next Friday. She told me not to worry about baby's lungs -that she had to inform me of all the risks involved in diabetes but that baby is not under that risk at the moment.

I did reassure her that I was normally quite sane and rational - I think I'm just over-tired and stressed. Which, as Dix said, would raise my blood sugar more! She suggested I eat more, maybe take up yoga!

So I feel better. I did eat something tonight - again courtesy of my supermum, a falafel and some pasta (carbs!). I'll measure my blood later.

Have been trying to ring Rob all day but he's not in his hotel room. Hopefully I'll get hold of him tomorrow.

So I still have stomach cramps and dodgy bowels but I'm going to teach tomorrow (I need the money!) and see how I am. Oz can go to nursery the doctor said. So hopefully I'll be back on track. And Mum has again offered to be around tomorrow afternoon if I need her.

So mum - if you're reading this (and I know you sometimes do). I wish I could express better how grateful I am. And how amazing you are. And I love you. As does your grandson.

Just a quickie

Thank you for the hugs and kind words. Though it seems my luck isn't in this week....Oscar slept through all night with no problems but has woken up with a croaky voice and a barking cough. And I had stomach ache last night and now have the worst diarrhoea (sorry). So I rang my monkey music boss at 7.30 and cancelled - which means I've let down a load of mums but I couldn't teach today. Feel weak as a kitten and very sick.

I had some poached salmon for my dinner last night. And an omlette for lunch. That's all I ate yesterday so it's one or t'other.

We're off to the docs at 10 - mainly for Oz but I just want to check the protocol for sickness that isn't morning related in pregnancy.

Joy!

And another one...

I know! Doesn't post for weeks then 3 in one day. I think cos Rob isn't here, I haven't got anyone to talk to....

Just had a massive blub fest on the phone to my Mum. She's been away in France for the weekend - I normally talk to her once a day! So I missed her. And filling her in on the midwife and the diabetes and the psycho bedtime I sort of lost it.

I'm more scared than I admitted about the diabetes. My blood levels have been very high this weekend. Or I think they have - I'm not really sure. It isn't as easy to control as last time. The only way I've kept my bloods below 6.8 today is by not eating hardly anything. Which I know isn't good. But I'm scared to eat! The midwife freaked me by telling me that if baby is exposed to consistent high bloods, it can harm his lung development. And I've only been testing since Saturday morning but as I said - couldn't get my levels below 6.8 and peaked at 8.6 (I'm supposed to be between 4 and 5 in the morning and below 7 after meals)

I left a message for the midwife to call me - I rang her yesterday morning - but haven't heard from her. I'm going to ring again tomorrow after Monkey Music.

I'm just feeling tired and tearful. I'm going to go to bed now I think....just wish I could stop blubbing.

Send me a cyber hug?

Just my luck

Another post...forgot to mention earlier - Rob has gone to Utah this morning for a week so I'm home alone with the bairn until Sunday -which I hate....

Today has been a good and bad day - we actually had bookings at the LAB (HOORAH) but then had to cancel because all - yes ALL of our therapists let us down at the last minute. Something to do with London Fashion Week....grrrrrr.

But on the upside we went to Kings Hospital where all our yummy mummies give birth and had a really great meeting with the head midwife. She's going to distribute all our leaflets to parenting classes and to the community midwives to give to expectant mothers. Fab.

Rest of the day was sorting out contracts and stuff with Julie. Picked Oscar up from nursery and it looked like he'd been in the wars - scratches on his face where I think he walked into a bush and a nasty scrape on his arm. Because my little man is so tough, he didn't cry so the nursery only noticed the marks and have no idea how he got them. When asked, he said he fell over in the garden.

He was also EXHAUSTED. He woke up 3 times last night crying - hasn't done that for ages and I've no idea why. He won't sleep when he's at nursery and they think that's why he was so clumsy and hurt himself. His little eyes were red but he WOULDN'T go to bed tonight.

Rob does bedtime - always has. And tonight it was going well - he and I had a good shower time, dried off, read 2 stories and then I gave him some medicine cos he's a little warm and has a cough. Then into bed and lights out.

And he freaked! Screamed. I left him as I usually do for five minutes but THEN - a first. He climbed out of the cot and came into the office. I picked him up and said in my best supernanny voice "it's bedtime baby" and put him back. He got out again. Now this is getting out from a cot with barred sides almost as high as he is - in a sleeping bag so he's got no foot leverage. So I said "bedtime" and put him back. He got up again. This time I didn't speak and put him back.

10 attempts later he's so hysterical and a bit bashed from the falls out of the cot that I pick him up and give him a cuddle. He clings to me! Absolutely beside himself. We have a rock in the chair and then finally I put him down again and he resists - clinging onto my arms. I prepare myself for another round but as I close the door he's gone all quiet. And that was 10 minutes ago.

He usually goes down easily - a few whimpers possibly but easy. That's the hardest EVER.

Why? Possibly because he misses his Daddy. If so then god help me for the rest of the week cos it'll only get worse.

ARGH!!!!!!!! I'm usually counting the minutes until Rob gets home from work so I can breathe and relax. Especially in the second half of the week with teaching every day. And I'm flying solo. 6 months pregnant with a suddenly psychotic 2 year old who is suicide leaping out of his cot.

Suggestions?

When Squirrels Attack....

Yes it's true - I got mugged by squirrels yesterday. Oz and I were walking to our car which was parked underneath an oak tree. Oscar was chasing a squirrel a little bit in a 2 year old toddly way. Squirrel went up tree....and proceeded to chuck acorns at us! They were bouncing off the roof of the car with force!!!

I had no idea that these little buggers were so vicious! I narrowly escaped being struck on the head and I'm surprised there isn't a dent in the roof.

Who knew eh?

Surprise surprise

My Glucose Tolerance Test results came in and I have higher than normal blood sugar. I've been expecting this really - it's why I started monitoring my bloods as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I haven't been an angel but I've been basically sticking to a low GI diet as much as possible...

So - I saw the diabetic midwife (she deals with it but she hasn't got it!) who I saw in my last pregnancy. It was nice to catch up but she had some sobering news for me. Because I've been diagnosed earlier in my pregnancy than last time, it's worse news - for baby really more than me. I may have to go on insulin this time - to not go into it too much, I have really high blood sugar in the morning. Overnight my body seems to produce sugar - even if it's low before I go to bed, it's high in the morning. I am fine during the day - it's just my fasting blood that's high.

This happened last time too and the way I dealt with it was to eat something before I went to sleep. So I'm going to try it again for a couple of weeks and see if I can control it - otherwise it's injections for me....

Also - they won't induce me which is what I wanted to hear - but what they will do is a caesarian if I don't go into labour naturally before my due date. The whole reason I started monitoring my bloods so early was to avoid another caesar. I really wanted to try and do it naturally. I can't imagine having a caesarian and a 2 1/2 year old! And last time I had my sister around doing everything for me which was amazing. That won't happen this time.

The midwife told me an elective caesar is much easier than an emergency - your body isn't exhausted by labour so your recovery is often quicker. And psychologically it isn't as shocking - you know exactly when your baby will come, you can arrange childcare, prepare and everything. And it won't hurt! Well, recovering from it does but it won't be like labour.

But a wierd part of me enjoyed labour last time - it was amazing what my body went through and how I coped. I did 9 hours before i had an epidural and never got to push. And i really would like to experience that. This is my last "chance" to birth a baby.....

Am I being nuts? Possibly. But it's how I feel.

Thank you for the name suggestions - we're keeping them all in mind! 2Bee is a real wriggler - especially during Monkey Music classes. Besides the diabetes all is well - I'm just hectic busy and tired which is why I am so crap at posting and keeping up with everyone too...

Just a quick thank you

I'm about to go to bed - so tired! But I just wanted to say thank you so much to all of you who commented on my last 2 posts. Made me feel much better, much loved and much supported.

I'm getting my head around my little men now. And looking forward to daughters-in-law and granddaughters!

Names....ah well - there's a task for you - what do you think? We like Archie, Nathan, Alexander, Isaac (after Newton, not the bible) - Rob still likes Odin (which was what he wanted to call Oscar !!!) but I'm TOTALLY up for suggestions - we won't name him till we see him. Oscar was never on our list with the first pregnancy - it was all a big joke (the only way I'd get an Oscar was to give birth to one) but it suited him once we met him.

So please - inundate me with ideas! I like original but not too wacky - like Oscar I suppose!

Thank you again my lovely blogmates.

Our little boy...

It's a .....

Thank you for your votes.....

It's a BOY...blue blue blue

And I must admit I'm a bit blue about it too....but I'll get over it. Just the thought that I'll never have a daughter makes me sad - we won't have another one - we can't afford to and knowing my luck I'd end up with 3 boys!

I keep thinking of little girls at ballet class, of "Are You There God It's Me Margaret", of my child bearing a child - I'll never be Mother of the Bride...I'll never share girly chats with my own girl...Rob is sad too - he wanted a little Daddy's girl.

And I know for all of that there's a ton of boy wonderfulness - but I woulda liked one of each....

I was disappointed last time and I am disappointed this time and this time I'll be disappointed for a little bit longer and I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

He's happy and healthy. And not as big as Oz was which is good news.

But he's not a she. Goodbye daughter dreams...

Curse of the black tongue

He ate the wheel of the fire enging - PURE sugar. Pure black tongueness

Demolishing the Fireman Sam cake (Sam, the birthday boy is on the left) 

Hello...remember me?

I know. I haven't time to fart these days....let alone blog.

And I haven't taken any pics though I meant to. I've taken some of Oscar though! But blogger is being an arse when I try and upload them so I'm going to use Hello so they'll be on the post above...

I had something to say by blogging....erm...Oh YES!!

I have my scan on Wednesday.....where I should find out if 2Bee is pink or blue....and I want your guesses please!

So leave it in my comments - let's see who is psychic.....

2nd day of the LAB tomorrow - pray for customers. I leafleted in Dulwich Park all afternoon so I live in hope...

I want to go to bed early but I can't - stupidly put a joint of pork in the oven to cook (only £1.85 in Sainsburys for a massive joint) but it won't be cooked till 11pm (I plan to have it cold tomorrow) and even though my clever cooker will turn itself off at the precise time, it will also beep incredibly loudly to tell me it's done so. So I either go to bed now and get woken up, go downstairs, turn the bloody thing off and go back to bed....or stay awake until the (oh so late) hour of 11 - which for me is an hour past bedtime....

Decisions decisions....

It went ok! (plus a happy surprise)

We only had 2 customers - which is better than none I suppose. They both had a brilliant time -both had treatments - one mum had the full body massage which is our most expensive - but we have lost quite a bit of money - as is to be expected at the beginning.

It was like another trial for us, but one with 3 children in the creche, with creche staff and all facilities. It was really helpful and all we need now is MORE MUMMIES! We're going on a publicity blitz for the rest of the week.

Oz's first day in nursery was a bit eventful - I had to sign the accident book twice on picking him up! He got scratched by another kid (grrr) and then bit his tongue while on the trampoline. He also had to have his top changed after eating soup (hardly surprising!). He seemed quite happy when I picked him up - a bit less cuddly with me in the evening but I think that's tiredness - he didn't sleep - I didn't think he would - they all lie down in one room on floor mats and he's used to either sleeping in his cot or in the car. I thought he'd be a psycho when I picked him up but he just wanted to come home and (surprise surprise) watch Little Einsteins.

Highlight of the day? Picking up the phone this evening and hearing Lesley's voice!! All the way from Dubai - thank you to Skype! It was SO nice to speak to her - I miss her so much. It's hard to believe she's so far away sometimes. She's fine - is going to blog tomorrow she said - has survived her first sandstorm! But all her stuff has arrived so that's cool. It made the day lovely.

I'm exhausted. Stress and stuff I suppose. Early night for me. Then get up, take Oz to nursery, and ideally come back and go back to bed, but I think I've got too much work to do - what with lesson plans for next week's monkey music (including a whole new curriculum) and publicity for LAB - plus I need to edit the website to bring it all up to date. Never stops!

I promised Lesley pictures of my bump so not tonight as I look rough as a badger's bum - but maybe tomorrow when I'm rested (and put some makeup on!)

Argh

LAB launches tomorrow. No time to post really - no time to think just to panic!

Thank you for all the best wishes I've had today by phone, text and email - means a lot.

If I'm not in an asylum I'll post how it went as soon as I can....

And now for something completely different

ego marketing. It's making me laugh and it's also making me sad for all the suckers who get conned....let me explain...ages and ages ago, for a laugh, I found poetry.com. Now let me explain - you can submit any old drivel of verse and they put it up on their website. And then they bombard you with sycophantic emails telling you how talented you are, how you've won a prize, how you are the poet of the frickin millenium and must come to be honoured at their ceremony in some poky hotel in Las Vegas for the amazing price of $xx,000 dollars.

Here is an exerpt from an email: Your poem will be presented at the largest and most prestigious gathering of poets in history and it's so very important for us and your fellow poets to hear your poem read with the same passion and emotion which you intended when you wrote it. This is why we have arranged for a professional poetry reader to present your poem, allowing your poetry to receive the exposure and recognition you deserve. All you need to do to have your work presented is submit your poem quickly. Just imagine -- all of the attending guests at the upcoming International Society of Poets Annual Convention will hear your poetry read.

I'm also being given awards! For my poem! Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award ($300.00 value), bronze Commemorative Award Medallion ($40.00). My goodness. They must really see how talented I am! I'm an artist. I'm a poet!

Oh.... Additionally, we must ask you to send a nominal fee ($169.00 plus shipping and handling) to cover the expenses we incur presenting your poetry, and to cover the costs to insure and ship all of these extremely bulky and heavy awards to you. For this small fee you will receive over $400.00 worth of ISP membership materials, including your lead crystal Outstanding Achievement in Poetry Award!

That's poetry.com. And here's my poem...do you think I'm an artist? (just realised this link doesn't work so search for reeve, sally - it's called Workday Blue)

This evening I received another email that I'm presuming came via this evil website...from Noble House UK Publishers. And this is what they said
As you may know, Noble House is one of the world's foremost publishers of fiction and nonfiction works by new and established authors. Our poetry division in the U.K. has had the honour of publishing the poetry of more than 800 poets over the past twelve years.
Recently I had the pleasure of reading your poetry that you have had published in the United States. I was moved so much by your written words that I have selected you to honour with our most desired and prestigious Noble House 2006 Lapel Pin.

Oh my gosh - my fellow countrymen have discovered my talents too! I'm so famous....they go on to reinforce this Just imagine the sense of gratification you will feel when others see this Limited Edition pin with 24-karat gold honouring your poetic accomplishments and acknowledge your poetic distinction. What an impressive way to show off your status as an elite member of Noble House Publishers!

Oh there's another nominal fee. $69.95....

BASTARDS! I found this hysterically funny at first - go back and read my poem for god's sake. But then I felt awful because there will be people out there - from depressed angst ridden teenagers to frustrated writers to gullible housewives who will be suckered by this. Who will get self-worth and happiness from buying tatty QVC rejected fake crystal awards in the mistaken belief that someone out there thinks they are worth something. Is $69.95 the price of instant self-esteem. If so, is that a bargain?

Are you repulsed by this or amused? I keep changing my mind. Part of me thinks it's a genius idea to make money by expoiting people's dreams....so many industries do that, from modelling to acting to writing. And part of me thinks it's evil and manipulative and possibly illegal.

On another tangent - I'm full of em tonight - go watch this - it's fascinating. Click on her videos and start at the beginning. This sweet 24 year old, Lucy, a wannabe actress, has moved from Texas to LA to try and achieve her dream of being a movie star. And is coming down to earth with a bump. She speaks so honestly of all that is sleazy and depressing about our business - being humiliated by a casting director, being sleazed and casting couched by a manager, having to find your niche (her pronunciation is interesting) and be pigeonholed - and yet, when she talks about acting, about going to see a movie that touches her and that makes her want to be part of something magical - I totally relate.

This is me (slightly better looking, thinner, brunette and american) about 10 years ago. When my idealistic dreams of being an actress started to wear down under the pressure of auditioning to be fat nurse in casualty for the umpteenth time. And not getting the part. And working as a temp. And borrowing money off my mum....

She's lovely. Lucy I mean - my mum is too, but I'm talking about Lucy. She's honest and hopeful and funny. She says the word "like" too often for my taste, but she's American. She can't help it.

She's incredibly popular on You Tube. So maybe that will be her ticket to dreamland. Who knows. I'm just interested by her. And it's taken my mind off the business for an afternoon.

The trial was....

a trial really - in all senses of the word.
trial–noun
...the act of trying, testing, or putting to the proof; a tentative or experimental action in order to ascertain results; experiment; subjection to suffering or grievous experiences; a distressed or painful state: comfort in the hour of trial; an affliction or trouble; a trying, distressing, or annoying thing or person...

Lots of things went wrong (which is kind of what we wanted - for us to work out what they were so they wouldn't happen next week when we're officially open). The most annoying thing was that the person at the venue who we've dealt with wasn't there. It was her day off. And considering the whole point was that she could see how we wanted the space laid out so it could be done for us next week....I couldn't believe she hadn't told us she wouldn't be there. And the room was still laid out as it had been this weekend for a wedding. So we had to spend a good 30 minutes moving chairs.

Julie's friend who runs a nursery was there to give us some advice but I must admit I don't think she understood that we're running a temporary creche - not a nursery. We had to set up the room differently than we would normally as we had quite a few toddlers with us yesterday (friends we'd invited who have older children). On a LAB day we can only take under 1's in the creche. So she kept criticising and telling me how it wasn't going to work and no matter how many times I told her this wasn't how we are going to have it normally, she didn't listen. She's very...erm....blunt.

And we hoped the boss of the agency who is supplying the staff was going to be there - she said she would. But when I rang after 2 hours she said she was too busy - it would have been nice to get a call.

There was so much lifting and carrying and building of gates etc. I've thrown my back out - am in pain today! We decided we need to hire a "runner" to do all the heavy lifting and help mums up and down stairs with buggies.

We learnt a lot. It wasn't what I expected and I'm quite scared about next week. But we know what we have to improve....I just hope we have enough time to do it.

Sometimes I think I'm crazy doing this.....

Not quite as planned....

Oscar's party that is....the weather let us down - surprise surprise. My friend Andrea rang just as I was packing the picnic in the car to tell me it was chucking it down where she was (10 minutes away from us) and maybe we should relocate. Our house was a tip - I've had to get rid of the cleaner as we can't afford it and it's really showing....

But it was clean up or get soaked...and with a few people bringing little babies as well as 2 year olds there was no choice really. I managed to get hold of Jemma just before she left Guildford to tell her to come to my house...Rob was a star and cleaned and tidied....I rang round everyone - and so many people weren't going to come anyway - said they thought it was the week after or thought it was cancelled. Which was actually a relief as I hadn't wanted to have a house full of 2 year olds. In the end the Kelly family, the Morrisons, Julie and Mya and my friend Kelly and her daughter Savannah came - only 6 adults, 4 two year olds and 2 little babies to deal with. It was enough though!!

We had fun! The kids loved the trampoline (the weather of course cleared up once everyone was here). Oscar had a tantrum and had to go to bed after about half an hour but woke up in time to get cake and presents.

It was nice to spend some quality time with Jemma and Stu - they got on very well with my other friends Andrea and Gerard - I knew they would - Gerard and Stu were like a double act!! Very very funny. Since we'd bought stuff for picnics, everything was disposable so there wasn't much clearing up to do afterwards.

(I've been trying for 30 minutes to upload photos onto blogger and it won't let me - I'll try later)

Sunday I had a monkey music birthday party - for 1 year olds - about 8 of them who weren't that interested to be honest. I sang my butt off for 45 minutes but it was hard work - I didn't know any of the children or the mums so there was no rapport or feedback. They were very passive. I have no idea if they liked it or not - hope they did!

Don't know if I'll do another one as it knackered me out - but it was £60 so I can't winge. Oz slept at mum's last night which was lovely so Rob and I had a takeout and an early night ;) and another lie in this morning.

We're having a tidy up and clean day today...oh how I miss my cleaner! Though she's left us with a broken hoover - god knows how long it hasn't been working properly....I'll have to take it to be fixed this week.

Tomorrow we're running a test-run of the LAB - for 2 hours in the afternoon with some friends - just to see how it works. So we can be all professional for our launch next Tuesday....next Tuesday....EEEEEEK!

Just a quick addendum to yesterday

..after I blogged that and started to get ready for bed....Rob yelled from the kitchen. He'd sliced his thumb open - TO THE BONE - on the breadknife. He was white as a sheet.

So we ended up in Casualty (ER for you yanks). We got there about quarter to eleven. I left about 12.30 cos we were still waiting....Rob got home at 2.15am. They didn't even stitch it or give him a tetanus - just a plaster.

I've spent the day today exhausted - running round picking up LAB deliveries, getting stuff for Oscar's party tomorrow.....I'm going to bed now and putting ear plugs in - I need sleep!!!

I'll post the party goss tomorrow...

Happy 2nd Birthday Oscar!

Wow. He's 2. Where the hell did that go?

Lovely (but KNACKERING) day. As I type this I'm trying to put together my first montage - inspired by Jemma, Kelly et al. - so bear with me...

So - to start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...(that "how do you solve a problem like Maria show is getting to me) He came downstairs this morning to a stack of presents and cards - many many thanks to everyone - we'll be doing proper thank you's soon....First he opened Lesley's pressie which I'd been saving since our last trip to Guildford - PERFECT for him - 2 little wooden cars - a fire engine and a police car - both complete with "nee naw" noise. And a magnetic articulated lorry. We couldn't actually get him to open anything else for about 10 minutes as he was so enamoured. Then a lovely Eric Carle book from Ursi - I love Eric Carle - Hungry Caterpillar was my favourite book as a child - this one - The Little Seed - is beautiful. We opened cards from Moxie, from NCT friends, a present from my neighbour. Then the family gifts.

He did like the teaset and tried to eat each plastic cake. The motorbike held his attention for about 10 minutes, then it was back to the fire engine and police car! He was a bit overwhelmed. As you can see from the photos, I hadn't even changed his nighttime nappy - he wouldn't let me - he just wanted to play.

So after a manic morning, we went to Bromley to meet....ESS!! I was so excited. There she and Al were, along with Jack, Jade and Joe (I think I should have renamed Oscar Joscar for the day). It was brilliant to see her in the flesh - even more gorgeous in real life - such a smily twinkly (and getting damn skinny) woman! Jade was an angel - Oscar fell in love instantly. We got more lovely presents - some fab clothes from Ess, pjs and a brilliant drinking cup from Al and a snazzy benetton t-shirt and a sherriff outfit from Jackie. Susannah popped by to give Oscar another highly appropriate gift - a pop up book about diggers and cement mixers.

The boy has done well this year - such thoughtful appropriate gifts. I'm so grateful.

We went to Adventure Kingdom where they all got sweaty and ran around like mad things. Then to McD's for lunch where Oscar lost the plot - he was tired - didn't eat a thing just tried to steal Joe's happy meal toy. So we regretfully left. It wasn't much time with Ess but that's the wierd thing about meeting up with online friends - you'd think we'd spend time getting to know each other, being slightly formal and shy but it was like we've known each other for years - because we have! And though it WASN'T enough time, it was like meeting an old friend - we just dived right into conversation. We talked about everything from IBS to irritating in-laws! And it was precious and lovely.

Oscar fell asleep before I'd even backed the car out of the parking space - he was shattered. He slept for a couple of hours while I tidied up as we had more people coming round.

My friend Marion and her daughter Kristina came over with a lovely dancing Boo toy for Oscar (which took us ages to work out how to activate it!). Then my mum arrived and we had cake and candles -and Oscar blew them out himself! I was so proud.

Mum stayed and played with Oz for a while as I was so shattered by this point. He wouldn't eat dinner - he hadn't really eaten all day - but when Rob came home he ate a few sausages....his appetite has been rubbish the last few days....ah well.

So that's it - he went to bed. I'm exhausted as usual and will be in bed soon. I must make the effort to eat something first and I want to call Moxie cos I haven't spoken to her for ages.

So that was Oscar's second birthday. The picnic is still on for Saturday as the weather says sunny intervals as of this evening. So I live in hope. Tomorrow I'll be running round shopping for the picnic and party bags, plus running to printers to get our LAB membership forms and posters printed. So an early night is needed.

Ok - I can't seem to do the fancy montages like the ones I've seen with zoom ins, close ups and fades - so please someone leave me instructions on my comments if you know what I'm doing wrong. This is the best I could do!

Morning...


Afternoon...


Ok those don't seem to be working....grrrr...here's the link....
Morning - http://w104.photobucket.com/widgets/dynamicflash.php?featuretype=bucketshow&featurename=Birthdaymorning&pa=/m174/sally_re/

Afternoon
http://w104.photobucket.com/widgets/dynamicflash.php?featuretype=bucketshow&featurename=Birthdayafternoon&pa=/m174/sally_re/

Oops

Still haven't updated for days.....what have I done....erm....been working hard on LAB as we launch in a couple of weeks (eek!) which is where I think all my creativity and energy are at the moment! Been spending lots of time with Kirsti - well she's also been shopping like a demon so haven't spent as much time with her as I'd like

Had a hospital appt and heard baby's heart beat which was lovely. Did more Monkey Music holiday classes which were chaos - they'd over booked so I had 17 kids in 1 class and 16 in the other -madness. Mum had Oz for a sleepover at the weekend which was much needed. Had a very rough and tiring day on Friday as Oscar was in a foul mood. Sunday we went for lunch at my favourite restaurant - Royal China - and had a dim sum feast in honour of Dad's birthday (he was in Tblisi but we toasted him with jasmine tea! He was missed)

I went to the gym this morning - I've never done aerobics when pregnant before - and if I thought I went red in the face anyway - blimey - with extra blood flowing in my system I was like a tomato! It was good though - did lots of alternate things instead of sit ups!

It's Oscar's birthday on Thursday - can't believe he'll be 2! We went to ToysRUs this weekend and bought him some presents - a remote control motorbike and a teaset - he loves teasets! I'm not being gender biased in toy choices - why shouldn't he have a boyish motorbike plus a slightly girly teaset! We also got him a little box of toy plastic cakes - he's cake mad. And loves pretending.

We're supposed to be having a picnic for him on Saturday but I'm not sure what the weather will be like - if it's bad I'll just cancel it! He won't notice....

Right - off to shower and then Julie is coming round to talk business....

Neglecting my blog

I know I should be writing a bit more....but my brain is dead...no reason! Just uninspired really. I'm having a lovely time with Kirsti - working hard on the Lab - not doing anything earth shatteringly interesting. Went to a birthday party on Saturday which was lovely....erm....blah blah blah - my brain is grey...

All I can do is share my new favourite pic of Oz - flying on his Daddy's feet (yes Rob's feet are enormous)....I'll try and muster some enthusiasm and write something scintillating soon!