What Oscar did....

Naughty Oscar....

He poked me in the eye yesterday and this is what I woke up with...he's really grabby at the moment - he has what DH calls "Ninja death claws"...he loves to grab handfuls of skin, hair - anything....and yesterday it was my eyelid.

It's really sore and weepy...I'm off to the doctor's in a few minutes to see what they think it is - I think he's just scratched the eyelid but I'm filming on Monday so I need to make sure it's going to go away....

Finally found out what is wrong with my car yesterday - took it in for a service and explained the brake problem. It turns out the main cylinder was broken and basically I've been driving with my brakes on for the last year. Which explains the huge amount of fuel I've been getting through (I thought it was just the car) and why it sometimes crawls up hills....there was no way of knowing and nothing I could have done. And it's going to cost £400 to fix it. So that's £200 from a couple of weeks ago plus the 400 = very skint Sally.

It's been an expensive month - I also have to spend £250 on photos and spotlight for my acting stuff.....

And I look like I've gone 3 rounds with Mike Tyson.

Here's hoping April will be cheaper and less painful......

Yes I am a natural blonde

Thank you to those of you who pointed out to me that the clocks went FORWARD not back. I knew what I meant....

I was hoping it would mean Oz would wake up at 8 again but no - Sunday morning at 7am (which was 6am in my head) he was up and squealing. Teething SUCKS.

I went to aqua aerobics today in an effort to shed what I ate yesterday - those evil Marks and Spencers Ads that Zoe mentions here tempted me to buy their ruinous roast potatoes which for all their points weren't really worth it...and I ate lots of chocolate.

So today I'm being good. Have had squips (my butternut squash chips) and WW chicken noodle soup which tastes of nothing for lunch. So I'm full but not very satisfied. Ah well - gotta pay for yesterday.

Now I promised to try and be more interesting but I'm not managing it. I've become quite addicted to celebdaq which is a fantasy stocks and shares trading game with celebrities as the investment. I'm doing quite well with Jamie Oliver and Camilla Parker Bowles. I lost money on Jennifer Aniston though - I was hoping she and Brad would get back together again. Share prices rise and fall dependent on column inches and stuff and it's quite addictive - have a go....

That's about as interesting as I'm gonna get.....sorry! I'm off up to town to see my agent tomorrow so that may be mildly fascinating...

After a short absence...

...I'm back. My sister rang me from Detroit to complain that since I haven't updated for a week she had no idea what I was up to.....

2 reasons why I haven't blogged this week - 1 - nothing much has happened - 2 - DH has been a computer hog.

Oscar is teething. And any mothers out there will know how much fun that is. He's usually such a happy babe - it's not like him to be grumpy. And he's got really bad nappy rash and a snotty nose to boot so he hasn't been as much fun this week.

My car didn't break down any more which was good. We haven't heard anything from the bank yet which is bad - I've reported it all and filled in all the forms so now we have to wait until they get back to us.

I've eaten lots of chocolate but what the hell - it's Easter. I won't have lost weight this week but to be totally honest I don't give a flying fuck. I need chocolate.

It's nice having DH around for 4 days - he's currently in heaven downstairs because tonight is the premier of Dr Who, the new series (which is also why I'm on the computer for a change). I'm taping it to watch later. He's a SERIOUS Who geek and has been waiting for this moment for years.....

I'm wracking my brains trying to think of something either funny or interesting to tell you but I draw a blank....hope you all have happy Easters and that the Easter Bunny is good to you. Hope you get some sunshine and spring cheer...

Our clocks go back tonight so that could cause havoc with my baby routine (not that I've stuck to it at all this week) At least it will mean Oscar wakes up at 7.30am rather than the 6.30am start I've had most mornings....

Ok - will try and have a more interesting life this coming week and share it with you all

Evil Thieving Bastards

Excuse the strong language but I'm really angry. I checked our online bank statement today and there were 3 strange transactions - through an ATM - 2 at 21.02 precisely taking out £190 and then £50. Then another £200 taken out at ten to one early this morning. None of them was us. Some bastard has cloned DH's ATM card and has taken £490 out of our account.

We can't afford to cover this loss. Because it's a Sunday, the bank can't do anything today other than cancel the card and contact us tomorrow. Likewise I can't report it to the police today to get a crime report number because our local station isn't open on Sunday.

I'm so scared and angry. What if we can't prove it wasn't us taking out the money? DH didn't leave the house yesterday let alone go to an ATM and withdraw £200 after midnight....

It's totally spoilt my weekend...hence the non happy black text rather than purple...

Spring has sprung 

Picnic in the Park 

Spring has Sprung in London

Unbelievable weather the past two days. 2 weeks ago we were snowed in - now it's glorious sunshine. I've been LOVING it. Yesterday we went out to Greenwich Park and had a picnic - picture above....and Oscar has been playing in the garden in his walker.

It's amazing how much better you feel in the sunshine. Oscar still isn't sleeping well though. Was up a couple of times last night. I keep meaning to wait 5 minutes before rushing in to soothe him in the night but I do it on autopilot. Last night he wasn't even really awake. If I'd have left him he'd have probably gone back to sleep. Must try and do it tonight - he should sleep through, he can because he has...and he's stuffed himself with food today.

Yesterday he had chocolate pudding for the first time. He bloody LOVED it. He is his mother's son.

Ok - off to watch Finding Neverland as DH is out tonight.....wish I wasn't on WW so I could scoff chocolate pudding myself.....

One step forward.....2 steps back

You see it was all going too well.....had a 'MARE of a day yesterday. Absolute bloody nightmare.

I was on the way to Oscar's swimming lessons at 8.45am - we go to a pool near to my Mother's house - usually about a 10 minute drive but at that time of the morning I allow half an hour....the car started making awful grinding noises every time I hit the brakes - which was a lot in the rush hour....

Got to the pool, did the lesson cos I wasn't wasting it, then drove to a garage really nearby. They said it would take at least an hour cos there were people waiting....

I had NOTHING with me. 1 nappy and that was it - no food, no milk...I usually have a big old nappy bag with EVERYTHING in it but I was only going to a 30 minute lesson so was expecting to be back home with a sleeping Oscar before he was due a feed.

So I had to improvise by going to a supermarket and buying a sippy cup and some ready made formula. And a jar of baby food. My mother came and gave me a plastic spoon. And Oz and I hung out in the coffee shop for an hour.

Then I get a call - it'll be at least another 2 hours cos I need new brake pads. And discs. £165. And a new tyre. £50.

I went back to Mum's house with a very grumpy baby and then got a lift home. I eventually picked up the car at 6pm. Oscar's routine went out the window.

Then he woke up this morning at 5am and wouldn't go back to sleep. I rocked, and cajoled and cuddled. And ignored him for 30 minutes. I eventually fed him at 6.45 and he was starving. And he hasn't slept more than 20 minutes today and has been in a foul mood. I've had a really busy day and he's not a hapy bunny. He's asleep now thank god...

I'm exhausted and broke....so it's 9.30pm and I'm off to bed. He threw up again tonight - DH's fault - vigorous bouncing after a feed - so I bet he wakes up hungry early again...

One good thing that happened today - I lost another pound at Weightwatchers which means I have officially lost Oscar - he got weighed yesterday and weighed 19lbs which is the total weightloss for me so far....

Yawn.....Goodnight Moon, goodnight air, goodnight readers everywhere...

What a difference a day makes.....

Hello...didn't post over the weekend -was quite stressed. DH was working all weekend and I really noticed it - no one to help me out - I rely on him quite a lot at weekends - how the HELL do single mothers do it? They are so amazing - I have a friend who is a single mum, works her ass off 5 days a week and has little support - none from her baby's father - yet is a brilliant mum. The further along the road of motherhood I get, the more I admire her and others like her...

Anyway - today I had to get some new headshots done with my new hair and all....it was an hour's drive there and I was nervous about how Oscar would deal with it - he'd either sleep all the way there, then scream on the way home or vice versa. No. My little boy was an ANGEL. He slept all the way there - woke up as I pulled up - was totally charming at the shoot and got his picture taken too (I'll post them when I get them) and then slept all the way home.

Yesterday I was at the supermarket and he threw up just as we got there - all over himself - proper vomit, not just a little milk coming back up - I had to do the shopping so I cleaned him up and carried on shopping, trying to ignore the vomity smell. Half way round the store, with my trolley cart full of shopping, he threw up again, projectile this time...so I abandoned the cart and it's contents and came home feeling very guilty. (He was fine in the end...he's been off his food for a couple of days and I think he had a bit of a tummy bug).

But today I decided I had to shop so on the way home from the photographer I pulled in to the supermarket. Now he'd been on a 2 hour car journey with an hour gap in between where he basically sat in his pram watching me have my picture taken....I thought he might not take well to shopping. No...he grinned all the way round - he is a veritable granny magnet. Little old ladies were cooing over him. I got all my shopping done.

And this afternoon he's been lovely - laughing and smiling. God I love my son. I still love him on the days he's grizzing or puking all over me. But days like today fill my heart with sparkly love and joy. He's amazing. And he's mine.

*sigh*...some days Motherhood is better than any drug in the world for giving you a high.

ps - he also slept through the night last night without waking so Mummy wouldn't have bags under her eyes for her photo session. An ANGEL I tell you!!!

Make Poverty History...or how my heart has got bigger since I had a baby

Have you noticed the white band on the top right of this page? Have you clicked on it? I hope you have and if you haven't - please do now. And if you can, please put a band either on your wrist or on your site and support the huge number of people who are taking action to make poverty history.

It's comic relief night here in England tonight. I've watched Comic Relief most years since it started 18 years ago. When I was younger I'd do stupid things and raise money. In recent years I watched it to see the comedy and often flicked channels during the poignant money raising film segments from Africa. I've always donated some money - either by buying a nose or donating on the night. But tonight - P.O (Post -Oscar) those film segments killed me. The majority of them showed children in distress. And since becoming a mother I can't bear to see them. I spent the evening in tears one minute and laughing at the comedy the next - which is the point really.

I never realised how much empathy arrived with my baby. How much love I had inside me, waiting to be birthed along with my son. How different the world is when you look through a mother's eyes.

So please, click on my link, maybe even have a look at the Comic Relief website. I'm not asking you to do more than that. I hope I don't sound preachy. I'm just full of empathy tonight.

Thank you

Slightly less grumpy with bad musical taste

I've spent this evening, instead of having an early night, creating a kickass driving cd for the journey to Maidstone tomorrow. It's a very strange mixture. All the songs I like today -remember I haven't had much sleep. Poppy and Kara - you'll probably find this combination horrific....

In track order (which was totally random)

• Eurythmics - Missionary Man
• Billy Joel - Always a Woman
• Kirsty McColl - Thank you for the Days
• Ashlee Simpson - Pieces of Me
• Dire Straits - Your Latest Trick
• The Kinks - Picture Book
• Andrew Gold - Never Let Her Slip Away (how cheesy it that! but I love it )
• Basement Jaxx - Do Your Thang
• Rachel Stevens - Some Girls
• Maroon 5 - This Love
• Keane - Everybody's Changing
• Britney Spears - Toxic
• Paul Simon - Still Crazy
• Beatles - Hey Jude
• Outkast - Hey Ya
• Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved
• Dire Straits - Romeo and Juliet
• Kate Bush - This Woman's Work
• Beatles - The Long and Winding Road.

OK how eclectic is that - Britney, Beatles, and Andrew Gold. If anyone wants a copy I'll burn em one....

Do I have the worst musical taste of anyone you have ever read? Do tell me....

Yawn....

Didn't blog yesterday. Was too bloody tired. The little demon baby decided to wake up at 5.30am yesterday AND today. Why? God knows....

It totally throws my day off so I have no idea what he's going to do. We just got back from swimming lessons - he slept there and he's asleep now. We're going out at 2pm - he usually sleeps from 1-3 and I have no idea if he'll be awake or asleep. And when he IS awake, he's grumpy as all hell cos he's tired.

This is why we have a day of our own where we're supposed to get spoilt.....to make up for the shit!

I'm also grumpy cos I found out one of my friends got a Tiffany necklace as a mother's day gift. I got a boiled egg. In bed...but still.....

Ah well - sorry for the grumpy short blog but I'm too tired to be witty and scintillating....

Happy Mother's Day to me!

My first one....felt a bit wierd actually . I mean I know I'm a mother - I'm not that blonde....but it's like when I got married and found it wierd to be called "Mrs"....my mother is a mother...I'm 9 remember?

But it's still nice to have another day to get pampered so close to valentines! Got a lovely card from my amazing son who is so talented that he can write at 6 months. And from his daddy I got breakfast in bed. And a lie -in till 10am....bliss!

We went swimming today so Oz could show off his kicking ability to his dad - we go to swimming lessons every Tuesday and he's getting the hang of it -will be swimming the channel at 8months....

Got a hectic week next week - 2 more days rehearsal down in Maidstone though no overnighting this time (awwww). Got people round for tea on Tuesday (how British) and a gang round for lunch on Thursday......manic!

Well happy day to all you mothers out there....hope you're getting spoilt.

The bath.....(how sad is it that I took a pic?) 

Me in the bath 

Guilty pleasure

I had such fun!! After I got over the guilt (thank you for the encouraging comments) I had a blast. Had a bubble bath that lasted 45 minutes...bliss....no one interrupted me, no one cried for me or asked me anything.then went and had dinner in the restaurant complete with cheesy piano player...had seafood salad, roast lamb and pavlova...totally un-weightwatchers - totally not giving a shit.....And it's wierd - I usually hate being on my own - hate eating alone, hate doing anything by myself - I don't like my own company. But last night - i LOVED it. Didn't want to talk to anyone. Just wanted to chill out by my own sweet self.

I went back to my room, put all the pillows (I had 2 double beds in there) one on bed and cuddled up under my duvet and watched Groundhog Day. Fell asleep at 10pm...woke up at 7...totally refreshed and feeling fine! I hadn't realised how tired I was.....

The snow in Maidstone was still really bad today so we finished rehearsals at 11 to make sure we could all get back.

So I just got paid to rehearse for probably 4 hours total - most of which was spent laughing my ass off - they are such a great bunch of people (Basil was being totally obscene as usual). Then I was paid to lounge in a jacuzzi, have a bubble bath and relax. And my meals were paid for. And I got driven home because the trains weren't running.

I'm back down there again next Wednesday and Friday - not staying overnight this time.

Oscar gave me SUCH a big grin when I came home. I was so desperate to see his little face - he's started kissing me. Only me - doesn't do it to anyone else. He opens his mouth wide and pushes it into my cheek. Then turns away and waits for me to kiss his cheek, and does it again. I end up with a cheek dripping with baby drool but my god I love it. He's been lovely this afternoon. DH is out at the pub but I'm totally fine with it. I got to give Oz his bath and put him to bed. And he went to sleep straight away. I want to wake him up again to cuddle him but I won't!!!

So all in all - a lovely 2 days.

One thing I didn't do was wish my big sis a happy birthday for yesterday so K, If you're reading this HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! LOVE YOU!!!

Thanks oh wonderful readers for your reassurance. I feel so happy today! Hope you are all happy too.

Confessions of a bad mother

I'm writing this entry from the Hilton Hotel in Maidstone (darling). I actually travelled down on my own last night - horrendous snow hit the south east of England and the roads were dangerous. It took 4 hours and I was stranded at the station - had to ring the director and get him out of bed to come get me as no taxis were available!

So was without the boy last night - very strange. And wouldn't you know it the little git slept through for DH...bless him. Rehearsed this morning - had a great laugh with all my old chums from the show. And spent this afternoon in the hotel pool and jacuzzi. I'm spoiling myself whilst also being racked with guilt.

Tonight I'm having a lovely dinner in my room and then a bubble bath (our bath at home is made for munchkins....I haven't had a bath for 2 years but I do shower)

My wonderful mother is babysitting all day today and tomorrow. I've rung her 11 times (how sad) and the bairn is fine. So I'm going to enjoy myself....

My only problem now is the chocolate bars in the mini-bar are calling my name.....Nooooo